Col. Hans Landa's definitions

Twitter tag

see hashtag. A "#" symbol used on Twitter to denote its subject material.

Facebook post: "Tix to see Kanye for 40 bux #winning"
Comment: "Stop using Twitter tags on FB, you little fuck."

by Col. Hans Landa October 3, 2011

bullshitspeak

a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.

Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom

Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares

Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun

Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win

Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."

Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"

by Col. Hans Landa December 30, 2011

meta fog

when something is so self-referential (i.e., meta), that it looses all meaning because it is too confusing to follow. A good example is the movie Inception.

"Dude, so how about I am making a movie about how I am producing a film about how went to the theater to watch a movie about a group of people making a movie about the film industry?"

"I'm lost in a meta fog, bro. I think you need to simplify."

by Col. Hans Landa March 21, 2012

#roadtohershey

A Twitter tag commonly used by high schoolers in Pennsylvania to refer to the success of their high school football teams. The name comes from the fact that the WPIAL Championship game is played in Hershey.

42-0 win over NA. #rollvikes #roadtohershey

Beat out by CCHS...no longer on the #roadtohershey :((

by Col. Hans Landa September 30, 2011

John Galt

The hero of the philosophical epic, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. John Galt is the perfectly integrated human being who understands the role of man's mind in existence, and acts upon it. It is he who initiates the strike against the secondhanders and saves the world from unreason.

Related terms include the often-asked question Who is John Galt? and going Galt.

"Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world."

by Col. Hans Landa August 26, 2011

UPMC

prop. n.; University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, in reality a gigantic corporation almost completely unrelated to said University. Although its Pittsburgh-based chain of hospitals (usually) provides world-class care, UPMC is notorious for opposing competition, free-market capitalism, and above-minimum wage for its employees.

UPMC bought out the small-time Catholic hospital, tore down the historic building, and built a luxury office for its President in its stead.

by Col. Hans Landa August 4, 2011

no status

n.; the state of someone who is not sweet; someone who does not possess bro status or G status.

Guy #1: "I'm gonna do homework instead of hitting up the party."
Guy #2: "Dude...no status."

by Col. Hans Landa September 28, 2011