Col. Hans Landa's definitions

alpha

n. the leader of a given fraternity. Usually seen in the frat picture wearing Lacoste shorts and shirt with a Ralph Lauren sports coat, Gucci sunglasses, and holding a cat. He is usually sweet as fuck.

"Hello, welcome to the party. I am the alpha of this fraternity." "You're sweet as fuck!" "I know."

by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011

Phi Mu Delta

a kick-ass, small, national fraternity. Unlike the ridiculous douchebags who populate the usual frathouse, Phi Mu Delta advocates true fraternity, democracy, and service to the community. Its members are brothers in the truest sense of the word.

"Where you pledging, bro?"
"Phi Mu Delta, because I believe in brotherhood and kindness."

by Col. Hans Landa March 21, 2012

UPMC

prop. n.; University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, in reality a gigantic corporation almost completely unrelated to said University. Although its Pittsburgh-based chain of hospitals (usually) provides world-class care, UPMC is notorious for opposing competition, free-market capitalism, and above-minimum wage for its employees.

UPMC bought out the small-time Catholic hospital, tore down the historic building, and built a luxury office for its President in its stead.

by Col. Hans Landa August 4, 2011

meta fog

when something is so self-referential (i.e., meta), that it looses all meaning because it is too confusing to follow. A good example is the movie Inception.

"Dude, so how about I am making a movie about how I am producing a film about how went to the theater to watch a movie about a group of people making a movie about the film industry?"

"I'm lost in a meta fog, bro. I think you need to simplify."

by Col. Hans Landa March 21, 2012

vote whore

n.; a politician who will say, do, and/or promise anything to get more votes. In reality, most elected officials are like this, but the one who does it most obviously is the one who's called a vote whore.

"I was gonna vote for Mitt Romney, but when he flip-flopped on the tax issue just because he realized most people were against it, I went with Parry. What a vote whore."

by Col. Hans Landa November 11, 2011

Balaton

prop. n.; a lake in Hungary. Usually referred to as "the crown jewel of Europe". Tourists from around the world flock to the shores of the Balaton in order to enjoy fine wine, fine eats, and fine women. The single most relaxing location in the visible universe.

Guido took his family to the French Riviera, only to regret it terribly and wish he had gone to the Balaton instead.

by Col. Hans Landa August 3, 2011

power high

n.; an elation, similar to a high, that is experienced when one finds oneself in a position of power. Usually this is because the person realizes that their arbitrary choice will have a profound effect on someone else, thus inflating their ego and sense of importance.

This phenomenon explains the arrogance of police officers, judges, congressmen, professors, and other powerful individuals.

Tom: "Dude, are you gonna ref the freshman basketball game this year?"
Joe: "You bet! I'll be getting such a power high!"

by Col. Hans Landa March 12, 2012