Col. Hans Landa's definitions

majority decision

The best excuse for stupid choices.

Chris: "So Jake, why are we going into the eerie Aztec temple before we know how to contact the park ranger?"
Jake: "Majority decision."

by Col. Hans Landa October 4, 2011

Western Pennsylvania

The undiscovered paradise.

"On the seventh day, God rested. Ont the eighth day, He made Western Pennsylvania."

by Col. Hans Landa September 11, 2011

fratboyism

n. collective reference to the negative qualities usually attributed to frat boys or Greek culture in general. These include, but are not limited to: alcoholism, assholism, sexual promiscuity, poor academics, low intelligence, low sociability with those who do not participate in Greek life, disrespect for authority, and lack of interest in issues that actually affect human existence.

Most fraternities claim to be against fratboyism, whether or not they actually succeed is another issue entirely.

by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011

Phi Mu Delta

a kick-ass, small, national fraternity. Unlike the ridiculous douchebags who populate the usual frathouse, Phi Mu Delta advocates true fraternity, democracy, and service to the community. Its members are brothers in the truest sense of the word.

"Where you pledging, bro?"
"Phi Mu Delta, because I believe in brotherhood and kindness."

by Col. Hans Landa March 21, 2012

UPMC

prop. n.; University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, in reality a gigantic corporation almost completely unrelated to said University. Although its Pittsburgh-based chain of hospitals (usually) provides world-class care, UPMC is notorious for opposing competition, free-market capitalism, and above-minimum wage for its employees.

UPMC bought out the small-time Catholic hospital, tore down the historic building, and built a luxury office for its President in its stead.

by Col. Hans Landa August 4, 2011

WPIAL

abbr.; Western Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic League. The organization through which high schools in Western Pennsylvania compete for dominance, with schools being divided into A ("single A"), AA ("double A"), AAA ("triple A"), or AAAA ("quad A") categories based on size.

The WPIAL champion usually contends with the EPIAL champion in the state championship contest.

Gonna see CCHS destroy the WPIAL at Heinz Field #rollvikes #roadtohershey

by Col. Hans Landa September 30, 2011

bullshitspeak

a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.

Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom

Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares

Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun

Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win

Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."

Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"

by Col. Hans Landa December 30, 2011