Skip to main content

Chris Norton's definitions

Hose monster

n.
a promiscuous woman who is dangerous to date long-term or marry because she has extreme emotional baggage and a first-class attitude.
Men, beware of these hose monsters who look pretty now because you'll regret it later when you marry her.
by Chris Norton January 10, 2007
mugGet the Hose monster mug.

bullpen

in dating, this is a lineup of associates who specialize in your tastes. as in baseball the manager needs a starting pitcher, middle reliever and a closer. in dating, some people various have fetishes and tastes. a bullpen satisfies an individual's various sexual needs. a bullpen is also a good way to keep a man from becoming pussywhipped.
tom leykis tells all his sons avoid girlfriends and instead to keep a bullpen. he's a smart guy who knows everything men need to know in order to get laid.

Tom: Sometimes I'm a chubby chaser, sometimes I like asians, and sometimes I like MILFs. My bullpen has these types along with the hotties.
by Chris Norton February 6, 2009
mugGet the bullpen mug.

no spank bank directory

a list you keep of the two baggers, psycho women, feminists, butterfaces, reverse butterfaces and other such women you shouldn't date. this no spank bank directory can be shared with other guys in your posse to forewarn them that these women are not date-worthy.
i do my fellow men a service by keeping a no spank bank directory to protect men from these hose monsters who can get basic instinct on you.
by Chris Norton January 29, 2009
mugGet the no spank bank directory mug.

Beer goggle bait

n.
a physically unattractrive woman who looks good to heavily drunk men as a result of the men's pounding.
Victoria's Secret has done miracles, helping marry off some two bag women and beer goggle bait.
by Chris Norton January 10, 2007
mugGet the Beer goggle bait mug.

Toilet Sloppy

adj.
indicates a woman's tacky granny underwear being pubicly displayed in a manner which defies male appreciation of an otherwise welcome sight were the underwear sexier. Some examples are obvious panty lines, or zebra panty print patterns showing through light colored pants, or unbelted pants showing the woman's grannies as she bends over.
-Before the thong, women had what were called panty bulges, or a term I use, "toilet sloppy".

-If I had the chance to peep a woman's underwear, I won't take it if they're toilet sloppy.
by Chris Norton December 9, 2008
mugGet the Toilet Sloppy mug.

courtesy wipe

you nut on a girl and you use her hair to wipe your cock.
Jane is such a newb; after giving me the most phenomenal blowjob ever she didn't even have the common gall to offer me a courtesy wipe.
by Chris Norton January 24, 2007
mugGet the courtesy wipe mug.

shaq pack

a huge penis. the shaq pack sandwich was a sourdough bacon cheeseburger but the shaq pack can today be known as one's package if it's giant size.
Kobe, tell me how my shaq pack tastes?

My junk is unusually big, therefore my 12 inches earns the nickname, shaq pack.
by Chris Norton February 17, 2009
mugGet the shaq pack mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email