Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

Ralph Nader

The guy that my fellow Americans should have voted for, but apparently they don't have enough common sense to see what kind of damage is being done to our country by the divisive two-party system. An honest and real candidate who cares about domestic concerns that Bush and Kerry seem to have forgotten about in favor of fear-mongering, focusing on the so-called "threat" of terrorism.

Ralph has my vote, no matter the odds!

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.

I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.

It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004

Aragorn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn (quite possibly the coolest name ever) is the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. He is one of the Dunedain, a subrace of humans blessed with long life. Aragorn is 87 years old when he takes the throne, but he looks like he's about 33. That's how cool he is. In fact, all the chicks love Aragorn more than Legolas. This is scientific proof that Viggo Mortensen, who played Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is cooler than Orlando Bloom. Aragorn also smokes weed, though just about every character in the story does except pussy Frodo. It is widely believed that Aragorn is the coolest guy in Middle Earth, especially because he got with Liv Tyler.

Every man in the world who knows who Aragorn is wishes to be him.

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 20, 2004

latino

A confusing term created by confused people who think you can classify a race by a language. Residents of "latin" American countries refer to themselves as latino because of their descendants from Spain. Little do they realize that most of said countries had next to zero interbreeding with Spaniards and a vast majority of those who refer to themselves as latin have zero Spanish blood. Countries and people who should obviously not be called latino are somehow lumped under this category simply because they speak Spanish. Blacks born in the Dominican Republic are somehow latino, as are white europeans from Spain. Blacks and Spaniards racially and ethnically have NOTHING in common with residents of the Latin Americas but call themselves the same race. Somehow, under this theory, a Spaniard is latin, but an Italian is not, despite the fact that pretty much everything Latin really came from Rome.

Latino is an overly vague, catch-all term and a misnomer that attributes a culture to people that don't belong to it, at the same time depriving one of their actual heritage. A Mexican is a Mexican. A Spaniard is a Spaniard. A Puerto Rican is a Puerto Rican.

(what goes through a Spaniard's mind when filling out a form...)

Manuel: Hmmm, race? What to choose, what to choose... well, I AM white, so I should probably choose caucasian... Wait, never mind! I speak Spanish! Therefore, THIS is my race! (checks the "latino" box)
-----------------------
(example of the obvious flaws in using the term "latin" to describe a Spanish-speaking person)

Cesar: I'm from Mexico and I have REAL latin culture, something whites could only dream of.

Antonio: Well, I'm Italian, I'm white, and I ACTUALLY come from REAL latins. You know, the ones who lived in Europe, not Central America. Your ancestors come from Native Indians.

Cesar: (goes ballistic and calls Antonio a racist gringo)

by Chernorizets Hrabr January 31, 2007

Yuengling

Along with Sam Adams, Amstel and Miller Genuine Draft, Yuengling is proof that America is capable of making a great beer. Beats the shit out of Heineken.

I'm not a cheap, stupid hick, so let's grab a case of Yuengling instead of Budweiser tonight.

by Chernorizets Hrabr March 31, 2005

KKKramer

Any comedian who, after being heckled, says some nasty things about afro-americans.

KKKramer: I'm deeply, deeply sorry for using the N-word.

(audience laughter)

Jerry: Don't laugh, it's not funny.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 22, 2006