Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.

I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.

It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004

Yuengling

Along with Sam Adams, Amstel and Miller Genuine Draft, Yuengling is proof that America is capable of making a great beer. Beats the shit out of Heineken.

I'm not a cheap, stupid hick, so let's grab a case of Yuengling instead of Budweiser tonight.

by Chernorizets Hrabr March 31, 2005

latino

A confusing term created by confused people who think you can classify a race by a language. Residents of "latin" American countries refer to themselves as latino because of their descendants from Spain. Little do they realize that most of said countries had next to zero interbreeding with Spaniards and a vast majority of those who refer to themselves as latin have zero Spanish blood. Countries and people who should obviously not be called latino are somehow lumped under this category simply because they speak Spanish. Blacks born in the Dominican Republic are somehow latino, as are white europeans from Spain. Blacks and Spaniards racially and ethnically have NOTHING in common with residents of the Latin Americas but call themselves the same race. Somehow, under this theory, a Spaniard is latin, but an Italian is not, despite the fact that pretty much everything Latin really came from Rome.

Latino is an overly vague, catch-all term and a misnomer that attributes a culture to people that don't belong to it, at the same time depriving one of their actual heritage. A Mexican is a Mexican. A Spaniard is a Spaniard. A Puerto Rican is a Puerto Rican.

(what goes through a Spaniard's mind when filling out a form...)

Manuel: Hmmm, race? What to choose, what to choose... well, I AM white, so I should probably choose caucasian... Wait, never mind! I speak Spanish! Therefore, THIS is my race! (checks the "latino" box)
-----------------------
(example of the obvious flaws in using the term "latin" to describe a Spanish-speaking person)

Cesar: I'm from Mexico and I have REAL latin culture, something whites could only dream of.

Antonio: Well, I'm Italian, I'm white, and I ACTUALLY come from REAL latins. You know, the ones who lived in Europe, not Central America. Your ancestors come from Native Indians.

Cesar: (goes ballistic and calls Antonio a racist gringo)

by Chernorizets Hrabr January 31, 2007

Metallica Jr.

Also known as Godsmack, a post-grunge alternative metal band known for ripping off Metallica. Vocalist Sully Erna sings as if doing a bad James Hetfield impression and steals song names and ideas from Metallica albums. Godsmack's newest album contains two songs with identical titles as Metallica tracks, "Bleeding Me" (from Load) and "Temptation" (a St. Anger b-side). Blatantly ripped off from Metallica is Godsmack's "The Enemy", with an uncanny resemblance to "Sad But True" (The Black Album). Ironically, the lyrics in this song relate to a cheap, sub-standard mockery of an original. Sully sings "I know, everbody knows you're tryin' to be like me... but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me." Maybe James should have written that song about Sully.

Any Metallica fan listening to Godsmack will burst out in laughter when they see the obvious mimicry.

Metallica let Godsmack open for them on the "Madly in Anger With You Tour" '04 to make themselves look like gods in comparison. Godsmack was just Metallica Jr.

by Chernorizets Hrabr October 20, 2006

Carcanague

Teacher who lies about his life experiences. Example of stories that aren't true are his antics in Damascus, Denmark, and Poland. Often reffered to as "Gue" by Cricket buddies and students who mock him.

"Gue told us another story about how he saved the world from mutant aliens from Cyprus."

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 15, 2003

Rayden Hat

The official name of one of those straw chinese hats that resemble a pointed combination of an umbrella and sombrero, worn by Rayden, a popular character in the Mortal Kombat series of video games.

No one knows what those hats are called, so everyone calls them Rayden hats.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004