Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

Aragorn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn (quite possibly the coolest name ever) is the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. He is one of the Dunedain, a subrace of humans blessed with long life. Aragorn is 87 years old when he takes the throne, but he looks like he's about 33. That's how cool he is. In fact, all the chicks love Aragorn more than Legolas. This is scientific proof that Viggo Mortensen, who played Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is cooler than Orlando Bloom. Aragorn also smokes weed, though just about every character in the story does except pussy Frodo. It is widely believed that Aragorn is the coolest guy in Middle Earth, especially because he got with Liv Tyler.

Every man in the world who knows who Aragorn is wishes to be him.

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 20, 2004

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.

It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.

I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Reise, Reise

Reise, Reise is the new Rammstein album. It includes such hit songs as "Mein Teil", "Amerika", and "Ohne Dich".

Reise, Reise is teh sehr guten

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 8, 2004

tool

There are several defining traits of a tool; if one or more of these characteristics apply to you, then you are a tool.

1. You often feel used by your "friends", who usually make fun of you to both to your face and behind your back, but act polite if you have something they want. Of course, because you're desperate to be accepted, you give it to them.

2. You buy into whatever trend seems in at the moment because you have no identity or sense of pride. If you're emo, pass out at parties after 4 drinks to show off to people that you're drunk, or wear a pink shirt with the collar popped in a vain attempt to appear "secure with your masculinity", then you're a tool and haven't realized it yet.

3. You listen to Tool and think they are the pinnacle of musical talent because they call themselves "prog", but are actually boring and mediocre.

Go back to your toolboxes, you poseurs.

by Chernorizets Hrabr December 28, 2005

Carcanague

Teacher who lies about his life experiences. Example of stories that aren't true are his antics in Damascus, Denmark, and Poland. Often reffered to as "Gue" by Cricket buddies and students who mock him.

"Gue told us another story about how he saved the world from mutant aliens from Cyprus."

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 15, 2003

Metallica Jr.

Also known as Godsmack, a post-grunge alternative metal band known for ripping off Metallica. Vocalist Sully Erna sings as if doing a bad James Hetfield impression and steals song names and ideas from Metallica albums. Godsmack's newest album contains two songs with identical titles as Metallica tracks, "Bleeding Me" (from Load) and "Temptation" (a St. Anger b-side). Blatantly ripped off from Metallica is Godsmack's "The Enemy", with an uncanny resemblance to "Sad But True" (The Black Album). Ironically, the lyrics in this song relate to a cheap, sub-standard mockery of an original. Sully sings "I know, everbody knows you're tryin' to be like me... but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me." Maybe James should have written that song about Sully.

Any Metallica fan listening to Godsmack will burst out in laughter when they see the obvious mimicry.

Metallica let Godsmack open for them on the "Madly in Anger With You Tour" '04 to make themselves look like gods in comparison. Godsmack was just Metallica Jr.

by Chernorizets Hrabr October 20, 2006