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Carl Willis's definitions

doin' they thang

Going about their personal business.
Antwaine and Shamiqua is doin' they own thang tonight, know'um sayin'?

Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
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The Big Dog

Proper noun. The 42nd President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. This nickname speaks to Clinton's continuing political clout, reputation for deftness and skill as a politician, and vaunted ability to campaign for Democratic candidates. If you can't run with The Big Dog, you need to stay on the porch, motherfucker!
"Down in the polls, Lieberman tried to call in The Big Dog to rescue his moribund campaign against Lamont. Problem is, The Big Dog only supports Democrats."
by Carl Willis October 24, 2006
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amurkin

n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").

However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:

On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
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ghettify

v. (from ghetto)

1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."

2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."

2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
by Carl Willis February 12, 2005
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redneck truck

n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:

(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.

(2) Equipped with a gun rack

(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.

(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.

(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.

(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.

(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
by Carl Willis September 4, 2005
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hole hair

n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.
After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
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Tollbooth on the highway of education

n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.
Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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