Carl Willis's definitions

penis extension

n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.

Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.

by Carl Willis July 26, 2004

gallows bird

n. A defendant who is certain to be condemned to death with no chance of pardon or reprieve.

"Down here in Macomb, Alabama, we knowed that nigra-boy Tom Robinson was a gallows bird 'fore the trial even got started."




(Two lawyers at lunch)
Lawyer #1: Let's see, we have Alan Lee Davis for kidnapping and murder first degree, LaShawndra Simmons for distributing crack rock, and BraNell Wallace for grand theft of some rims, apparently.

Lawyer #2: We shouldn't take Davis. Let's be honest--he's a gallows bird. Folks hate him and the DA has an open-and-shut case.

by Carl Willis December 2, 2004

hole hair

n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.

After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.

by Carl Willis August 29, 2005

klucker

n. (Klux + -er): 1. A member of the Ku Klux Klan. 2. Used pejoratively, a white American who is perceived to be bigoted, particularly in matters of black / white racial integration.

Look at that old klucker up on the courthouse steps, bawling his head off about "them nigras."

by Carl Willis May 13, 2005

the nips

n. (Can be disparaging) The Japanese.

The term's origin was in World War II, when it was often used by Americans in the context of decrying the perceived treachery, cunning, and craziness of the Japanese.

Joe: "Did you know that in Japan, you can buy a 14-year-old's used panties from a vending machine?"

Bob: "Those crazy nips."

by Carl Willis August 25, 2004

shitless

Adj. Having an absence of faeces in one's colon, typically due to involuntary discharge of the bowels from extreme fright.

"After hearing what happened to bad little boys at Old English Preparatory Academy, William was scared shitless."

by Carl Willis November 16, 2004

wingnut

n. An outspoken, irrational person with deeply-held, nominally conservative, political views. A person who chooses on principle to be flagrantly ignorant. A "right-wing nut".

Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps are examples of the wingnut element in modern America.

by Carl Willis February 18, 2006