Carl Willis's definitions

redneck truck

n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:

(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.

(2) Equipped with a gun rack

(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.

(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.

(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.

(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.

(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.

Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.

by Carl Willis September 4, 2005

doin' they thang

Going about their personal business.

Antwaine and Shamiqua is doin' they own thang tonight, know'um sayin'?

Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.

by Carl Willis February 10, 2004

ghettify

v. (from ghetto)

1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."

2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."

1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."

2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".

by Carl Willis February 12, 2005

The Big Dog

Proper noun. The 42nd President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. This nickname speaks to Clinton's continuing political clout, reputation for deftness and skill as a politician, and vaunted ability to campaign for Democratic candidates. If you can't run with The Big Dog, you need to stay on the porch, motherfucker!

"Down in the polls, Lieberman tried to call in The Big Dog to rescue his moribund campaign against Lamont. Problem is, The Big Dog only supports Democrats."

by Carl Willis October 24, 2006

check your neck

A warning that you are acting suspiciously like a redneck, and that with a little critical self-evaluation you might save yourself some embarrassment. For instance, if you have always been an alright guy but find yourself coming down with a NASCAR-watching habit and are voting for evangelical Republicans, it's high time to "check your neck."

You: "Supper tonight is o-possum with gravy and freedom fries. Praise Jesus."

Me: "'Freedom fries?' 'o-possum?' Uh, I think you need to check your neck there Bubba!"

by Carl Willis January 18, 2005

mtvu

(Proper noun / registered trademark) Music TeleVision for Universities. Insufferable pop trash and advertisement network that relentlessly targets the college student audience. MTVU especially tries to cultivate a loyal following from the Spring-Break Party Animals and Trendy Airheads, both of whom comprise the vast majority of the college demographic these days. The whole point of MTVU is to make money, of course. By negotiating contracts to have their inane audiovisual sewage piped into college cafeterias and similar public places on campus, MTVU hopes to brainwash its captive audience into a bunch of pop-culture-crazed, money-spending zombies.

Please see a mental health professional if you are regularly exposed to MTVU at school.

After a year of exposure to MTVU, Derek gave up studying, threw away his bluegrass records and replaced them with 50 Cent, went on a month-long drunken spring break in Cancun, became a bitch for Abercrombie, started dating promiscuous airheaded cheerleaders, bought a Hummer with his parents' money, and entered the wasted brotherhood of Sigma Upsilon Kappa. In short...they won his soul.

by Carl Willis November 9, 2004

prawnage

1. n. The state or condition of having complete mastery over another person, as in a game of skill; ownage.

2. interj. An taunting proclamation of dominance or victory typically observed only in written form in online computer games.

Prawnage is a derivative of ownage. It is synonymous with the following forms:
pwnage (pronounced "pawnage");
pawnage;
pzzawnage;
PzZ4wN463.

1. That BFG was teh prawnage LOL!


2.
>> n00bsh0p was exploded by BoDyBaGgEr's grenade.
>> 1337KILLA was exploded by BoDyBaGgEr's grenade.

BoDyBaGgEr: Prawnage!!

by Carl Willis May 5, 2004