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Carl Willis's definitions

turd in the punch bowl

n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.

This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.

The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis March 2, 2011
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nuke

vt.

1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.

2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).

3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. After years of patent hostility, US Emperor-For-Life George Bush finally nuked France in 2020, resulting in the formation of the "Freedom Sea".

2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."

3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.
by Carl Willis March 12, 2005
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crack whore

n. A female who provides sexual services in exchange for rocks of crack cocaine, upon which she is physiologically dependent.
Daequon's bitch a crack ho--you gotta git out the rock before you can git out the cock, dogg. Dat's just how it works.
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
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hole hair

n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.
After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
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klucker

n. (Klux + -er): 1. A member of the Ku Klux Klan. 2. Used pejoratively, a white American who is perceived to be bigoted, particularly in matters of black / white racial integration.
Look at that old klucker up on the courthouse steps, bawling his head off about "them nigras."
by Carl Willis May 13, 2005
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nukular

adj.

1. Pertaining to the atomic nukulus

2. Pertaining to a weapon typically made out of "yew-ray-nee-um," what blows up real good, an' done half near kill the whole goddamn planet!
1) Grammaw: Jimmy-Ray, what did they learn you in skiewl today?
Jimmy: We did science, Grammaw. We done learned all about the Creation, and even sumthin' about this little bitty thing called the atomic nukulus.

2) "Saddam Hussein recently sought large quantities of uranium from Africa, so he could cook him up a mess of nukular bombs for to blow up the whole Godly nation of Texas." -Dubya
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
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supersize

V. To make larger, usu. in the context of a takeout order placed with a dining establishment.

Adj. Larger than expected, necessary, or appropriate.
Fast food clerk: What can I get you today?

John Q. Lardass: I'll have a triple bacon cheeseburger, supersize that please...two Biggie Fries, supersize of course, a two-liter Coke...a supersize chocolate shake....




Southwest Airlines clerk: What can I do for you?

John Q. Lardass: I need a ticket to Dallas.

Clerk: That will be one supersize ticket to Dallas, $850 please.

John Q. Lardass: What!!?

Clerk: Sir, customers must pay for all the seats they occupy. I see you are still gorging on your supersize fries, so don't try that "glandular disorder" crap with us today. Take some goddamn personal responsibility.
by Carl Willis August 4, 2004
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