Carl Willis's definitions
n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboarding is not a crimemug. n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
by Carl Willis September 4, 2005
Get the redneck truckmug. n. A chatroom or online game server populated with inexperienced and / or juvenile members. The term is pejorative. See also noob.
b3dw3tt3r >> we are so gonna hack the FBI tomorrow nite....come chek out my IRC channel #1337ha><0rz !11
o|-|CoRdYcEpS >> That's it, I'm outta here. What a fucking noobshop! Get a life u n00bs!
o|-|CoRdYcEpS >> That's it, I'm outta here. What a fucking noobshop! Get a life u n00bs!
by Carl Willis April 3, 2005
Get the noobshopmug. v. (from ghetto)
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
by Carl Willis February 12, 2005
Get the ghettifymug. n. A four-wheeled board used for personal transportation, and as an instrument for denting railings, grinding stairways, chipping benches, and committing other acts of vandalism against public property.
"You get that skateboard off of my property, you filthy little pot-smoking delinquent! Or I'll call your mama up so she can give you a spanking!"
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboardmug. v. To "get your shit in one sock" means to get organized, to "pull yourself together," to regain your composure. Having to use more than one sock to hold a given volume of feces is considered wasteful and inefficient, if by careful planning a single sock would do the trick. Thus, the essence of this phrase is a metaphor for thriftiness.
"Listen: you've been absent from class five days, you never turn in your homework on time, you refuse to take your Ritalin like a good boy, and your foul language is out of control! It is time to sit down one-on-one with the guidance counselor and get your shit in one sock, young man."
by Carl Willis November 7, 2005
Get the get your shit in one sockmug. n. The propensity to exhibit attitudes, behaviors, or mannerisms associated with the common redneck(Ignoramus americanus).
"On the drive over here, a trucker on the Interstate hurled a beer can full of urine out his window--talk about sheer neckitude!"
"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."
"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."
by Carl Willis December 12, 2005
Get the neckitudemug.