73 definitions by Carl Willis
n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.
Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.
by Carl Willis July 27, 2004
Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
by Carl Willis August 24, 2004
Proper noun. Personal epithet associated with either of two autocratic heads-of-state: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea) or George W. Bush (United States).
"The Dear Leader spoke to the assembled farmworkers today, thanking them for being the pillars of this great and prosperous nation and exhorting them to even greater achievements, on pain of death by firing squad."
"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
by Carl Willis June 10, 2006
Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.
(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.
If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"
Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"
Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
by Carl Willis April 28, 2004
n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
by Carl Willis August 12, 2005
n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 22, 2004
n. A Thompson submachine gun, as used by Prohibition-era gangsters. So-named because the sound of a Tommy being fired in the distance resembled the sound of typing on a typewriter, and because the weapon was in popular use throughout south-side Chicago in Al Capone's day.
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004