Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

PETA

1. A group of hippocrites who will never hesitate to pour paint on a rich lady's fur coat, but will never in a million years pour paint on a biker's leather jacket.

2. A group of mush wimp clowns who, living in the traditions, safety, and blessings of a Christian nation, subscribes to Hindu reincarnation nonsense about cows being ex-humans.

Listen up, PETA punk: Meat is NOT murder, and that cow is NOT my grandma. Pour paint on MY leathers and I'll ram a wiener dog up yer backside!

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Portagee pegnoir

An ass gasket. A Texas t-shirt. A paper toilet seat cover found in many public commodes.

From the gauzy, diaphenous appearance.

The expression has been around at least from the 1950s.

Charlie wore a Portagee pegnoir around his neck at the party.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

Tap your Log

To beat your pud. That thing that faggots do in a group on Saturday afternoons in the park.

Percival and Lemony agree that the park is a fine place to tap your log.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 23, 2007

oxymoron

Two words with disparate meanings, used together to form a nonsensical phrase.

Utah Jazz.

Military Intelligence.

Microsoft Code.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005

Binderfender

An audible fart. An expulsion of waste gaseous hydrocarbons from the anus, accompanied by an audible roar or blatt, discernable by even the hearing impaired.

Miss Chalmers entertained the Ladies' Sewing Circle by blowing a raucous binderfender.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005

Bum's Rush

The violent ejection of an obnoxious slob from a saloon. The bum's rush is performed by a bouncer.
You must NEVER say "bum's rush" in the presence of a white liberal. She will surely be offended! Instead, you must always say "Homeless Person's Manditory Egression." Then the white liberal won't be offended at all.

I was sitting in the No Name Bar in Sausalito, wearing an IDJ. With me were two young ladies wearing see-through tops. The bouncer ordered me to leave because I was wearing an offensive garment. I looked at my companions, then asked the bouncer, "Can I stay if I grow tits?" The bouncer gave me the bum's rush.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 19, 2008

Colorado Kool-Aid

Coors Beer, brewed in Golden, Colorado.

Wally, who has no sense of taste, bought a case of Colorado Kool-Aid.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005