Definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose
fart
The mating call of the corn holing faggot.
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
Not wanting to waste a lot of time talking, Armistead traipsed into a gay bar, lifted his leg a trifle, and blasted out a tremendous fart. The stentorian trumpet call echoed through the room and drew many approving glances.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
fart by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
beer
As Jimmy Jack headed for the can, he told his buddy, "Watch my beer, Ermal. I'm goin' to pay my rent."
beer by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
paradox
Here is a paradox:
Nothing is better than a glass of beer.
A half-glass of beer is better than nothing.
Therefore, a half-glass of beer is better than a glass of beer.
Nothing is better than a glass of beer.
A half-glass of beer is better than nothing.
Therefore, a half-glass of beer is better than a glass of beer.
paradox by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
float
A large vehicle, usually propelled by an engine, used as a moving stage or mobile display in a parade.
In the Rose Parade, floats are ridden by men and women in costumes to celebrate New Years Day.
In every Poofters on Parade parade, a float is ridden (certainly not "manned") by poofters, fags, butt eaters, and corn holers wearing jock straps. They mince, prance, and blow kisses to the crowd. This is all very impressive to white liberals, who always show up to wave at the sissies.
In the Rose Parade, floats are ridden by men and women in costumes to celebrate New Years Day.
In every Poofters on Parade parade, a float is ridden (certainly not "manned") by poofters, fags, butt eaters, and corn holers wearing jock straps. They mince, prance, and blow kisses to the crowd. This is all very impressive to white liberals, who always show up to wave at the sissies.
The Dykes on Bikes lead the annual Poofters on Parade parade. Behind the Dykes roll 64 floats covered with mincing pouves, fluttering faerie queans, and swaggering butches.
float by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
road hog
A crummy soccer mom who hogs the left lane of any multi-lane road while she prattles on the cell phone.
Cassidy the arrogant soccer mom is this town's most egregious road hog. She will not move over into the right lane to let anyone pass.
road hog by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
Schroedinger's Cat
A hypothetical experiment in quantum mechanics that allegedly proves that a cat can be alive and dead at the same time. This conclusion smack's of Bishop Berkeley's notion that if nobody is in a forest to hear a falling tree, the tree makes no sound.
Schroedinger's Cat is not half alive and half dead. It is either alive or dead, and we have to open the box to find out. If we lose interest and refuse to open the box, the chances of the cat being dead increase greatly with time.
Schroedinger's Cat by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
lethal injection
Society's solution for eliminating Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, murderers, and other worthless slime ball criminals from among the living.
Liberal judges can overturn life sentences and set imprisoned Crips and Bloods loose on the streets. The best way to keep Crips and Bloods from committing any more crimes is to use lethal injection.
lethal injection by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006