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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

Schroedinger's Cat

A hypothetical experiment in quantum mechanics that allegedly proves that a cat can be alive and dead at the same time. This conclusion smack's of Bishop Berkeley's notion that if nobody is in a forest to hear a falling tree, the tree makes no sound.
Schroedinger's Cat is not half alive and half dead. It is either alive or dead, and we have to open the box to find out. If we lose interest and refuse to open the box, the chances of the cat being dead increase greatly with time.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
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Brooklyn Assault Rifle

A Winchester model 1894 .30-30 rifle. This definition was created by the late Colonel Jeff Cooper.
Pansy ass liberals wring their hands and whine about "assault rifles," which, they say, are the favorite weapon of the Crips, the Bloods, and the Pachucos. A pansy ass liberal calls any black, ugly, semiautomatic rifle an assault rifle, which is like calling any black, ugly cat a dog. To keep from getting their pansy asses kicked, many liberals say they don't want to outlaw hunting or legitimate hunting rifles. Virtually all of those liberals will agree that a Winchester 1894 .30-30 is a hunting rifle. So there you have it: A wonderful, fast-shooting, accurate rifle just right for blasting Crips, Bloods, and Pachucos in defense of your home, your family, and yourself. This is the Brooklyn Assault Rifle. Get one today and start cleaning up your neighborhood while fooling your local pansy ass liberals.

Semiautomatic rifles will shoot faster than a Brooklyn Assault Rifle. But your .30-30 is far more accurate. With practice, you can shoot a Winchester 94 with great speed and accuracy.

You'll be able to keep your Brooklyn Assault Rifle after president O'Bama, the Irish Jig, confiscates all your handguns to keep you from hurting yourself when Pachucos invade your home.
by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008
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metrosexual

A cotquean.

An unmasculine male human.

A ponce.
Lloyd is a metrosexual. He shaves his arse cheeks.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 8, 2007
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homeless

A bum.
A wino.
A liberal word, used by effeminate liberals instead of the word "bum."
All good effeminate liberals call bums homeless. By doing this, they can can whine, "Oh, let's all help the homeless," just like the people of San Francisco. They said let's build homes and put all the homeless people inside them. Then nobody will be homeless. Ooh, aren't we good liberals? Barack O'Bama will love us!
So the liberals built homes. Then they went out on the streets and collected all the bums and put them in the homes. See, no more homeless!
Now, the San Francisco coppers have discovered that all those people on the streets who piss on the sidewalk and shit in the gutter and throw muscatel bottles on your front porch have addresses. They aren't homeless.
See, aren't those San Francisco liberals nice? They've spent over 100 million taxpayer dollars, but there are no more homeless people in San Francisco!
Just bums.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 16, 2008
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Ivory-Billed Woodpecker

The next target for legions of bull-necked peckerwoods in the Arkansas outback.
Bubba is gonna shoot him a Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, now that the TV gone an' told him where it lives.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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okie overdrive

To save gasoline by putting a car into neutral (or depressing the clutch) when going down a hill.

The origin is uncertain, since Okies are not likely to encounter sizable hills on their native turf.

Compare with Jewish overdrive.
Janey Ellen put her Chevy pickup truck into Okie overdrive to go down Coon Holler Hill.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005
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Public Transportation

A means of urban transportation used mainly by the underprivileged and the working poor
Public Transportation in many cities is a rolling crime wave. Muggers, Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, Hip Hop assholes, Gangstas, A-Rabs, and other criminals ride public transportation with their ghetto blasters blaring. They challenge honest working stiffs, force them to stand, steal their money, and make them listen to evil Hip Hop "music."
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
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