Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

beat your pud

To tap your log. Beat your meat. Choke your chicken. Flong your dong.

If you would like to beat your pud with a group of fine liberal gentlemen, go play circle jerk with a bunch of corn holing, butt eating faggots. Poofters love to help you beat your pud

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 22, 2007

trots

Loose bowels. The drizzly shits.

Braughton got the trots in her office and didn't make it to the can. This is one of those sent-from-Heaven events that embarrasses the most arrogant of soccer moms.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Dago WOP

What happens to Pirelli tires when they get punctured: Dago WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP.

I love my Pirelli tires. When dago flat, dago WOP.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005

left lane hog

An inconsiderate slob who drives in the left lane and won't move over to let anyone pass.

A left lane dick. A left lamer.

A long line of soccer moms in their SUVs followed the left lane hog. Each one was waiting for her chance to be first in line.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

saturday night special

A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.

Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.

by Cap'n Bullmoose January 26, 2007

PETA

1. A group of hippocrites who will never hesitate to pour paint on a rich lady's fur coat, but will never in a million years pour paint on a biker's leather jacket.

2. A group of mush wimp clowns who, living in the traditions, safety, and blessings of a Christian nation, subscribes to Hindu reincarnation nonsense about cows being ex-humans.

Listen up, PETA punk: Meat is NOT murder, and that cow is NOT my grandma. Pour paint on MY leathers and I'll ram a wiener dog up yer backside!

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

time out

A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.

After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005