Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

sideshow

Lawless exhibition of speed practiced by Oakland coons.

I be goin to de sideshow.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

Tap your Log

To beat your pud. That thing that faggots do in a group on Saturday afternoons in the park.

Percival and Lemony agree that the park is a fine place to tap your log.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 23, 2007

oxymoron

Two words with disparate meanings, used together to form a nonsensical phrase.

Utah Jazz.

Military Intelligence.

Microsoft Code.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005

drizzly shits

A bad dose of loose bowels. The trots.

Solange got a case of the drizzly shits this morning.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

time out

A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.

After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Portagee pegnoir

An ass gasket. A Texas t-shirt. A paper toilet seat cover found in many public commodes.

From the gauzy, diaphenous appearance.

The expression has been around at least from the 1950s.

Charlie wore a Portagee pegnoir around his neck at the party.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005

saturday night special

A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.

Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.

by Cap'n Bullmoose January 26, 2007