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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

apostrophe

A punctuation mark that stooges, idiots, morons, dorks, and ignorant people put in front of the letter "s" with amazing inconsistency.
The sign outside the fruit stand said "Grape's, Apple's, and Peache's."

Butch puts an apostrophe before every final "s" in a sentence. He writes "Mr's. Hennessey say's we should alway's warsh our hand's after we come in from reces's. Especially after you take a pis's.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
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Schroedinger's Cat

A hypothetical experiment in quantum mechanics that allegedly proves that a cat can be alive and dead at the same time. This conclusion smack's of Bishop Berkeley's notion that if nobody is in a forest to hear a falling tree, the tree makes no sound.
Schroedinger's Cat is not half alive and half dead. It is either alive or dead, and we have to open the box to find out. If we lose interest and refuse to open the box, the chances of the cat being dead increase greatly with time.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
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coo burner

A very hot pepper, such as a Scotch Bonnet or Habanero.

So called because the day after you eat too many of them, your coo burns. You get a Mexican heartburn.

A Portagee expression.
Hey, Sally, have some of these coo burners.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005
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BA

A Bare Ass, exposed as a taunt or an insult. A moon.
Lenny dropped trou and hung BA in the library.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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cotquean

A man who busies himself with activities more suitable for a woman.

A big sissy.
Clarence was tatting doilies again today. He's a real cotquean.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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tile peeler

A vile and mephitic fart. A fart that stinks so badly, it will clear out a smoke-filled pool hall. Downright nasty fart.
Melissa fired off a tile peeler in church, proving the Confucian adage, "Lady who fart in church sit in own pew."
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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gender

A property of nouns and pronouns.

A noun can have one of three genders, masculine, feminine, and neuter. Gender is never male or female; that is sex.

The gender of a noun may have little or no relation to the sex of its bearer. For example, in German, the word for dog is der Hund, which has masculine gender. A dog may be male or female, but the word for dog has masculine gender.

Radical feminists, effeminate men, and extremely ignorant people use the word to mean sex. They also ignorantly believe that the pronoun HE, when used to refer to someone of unknown sex, is offensive. Instead, they ignorantly and incorrectly use the word THEY to refer to a single person of unknown sex. Notice that French, German, Spanish, and other people have no trouble at all distinguishing sex and gender. A German is never offended by the word ER used to refer to someone of unknown sex, even though ER also means HE. That's because Germans are intelligent enough to know the difference between gender and sex, and that gender may have little to do with sex.

Even well-meaning organizations ask for you gender on applications now, but only out of ignorance. They surely want to know if you are male or female, not whether you enjoy eating butt or prancing on floats in parades.
The word SHIP often has a feminine gender. People refer to a ship as SHE.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005
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