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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

stick shift

The type of automobile transmission driven by all men (and some women) with two legs and two arms.

Automatic transmissions are for old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.
I'm a man, therefore I drive a stick shift.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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mooning

The recreational act of baring one's ass in public with the intention of it being seen by people who don't want, or expect, to see it.
We drove to the Presidio to go mooning in front of the Officer's Club. A car full of majors and colonels followed us all the way back to Oakland. Guess they wanted to see some more moons.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005
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Okie tool kit

A hammer, a screwdriver, and an adjustable wrench (also called a Mexican socket wrench. With these tools, an Okie can repair most malfunctions on his pickup truck.
Lennie Jim carries his Okie tool kit under the seat of his Jimmy pickup truck.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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ass bandit

An arse bandit. A corn holer. A turd burglar. A peanut butter packer. A flaming faggot. A sissy boy. A girly boy.
Emlyn is an ass bandit. He enjoys eating butt for desert. For fun, he corn holes the dog.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007
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gender

A property of nouns and pronouns.

A noun can have one of three genders, masculine, feminine, and neuter. Gender is never male or female; that is sex.

The gender of a noun may have little or no relation to the sex of its bearer. For example, in German, the word for dog is der Hund, which has masculine gender. A dog may be male or female, but the word for dog has masculine gender.

Radical feminists, effeminate men, and extremely ignorant people use the word to mean sex. They also ignorantly believe that the pronoun HE, when used to refer to someone of unknown sex, is offensive. Instead, they ignorantly and incorrectly use the word THEY to refer to a single person of unknown sex. Notice that French, German, Spanish, and other people have no trouble at all distinguishing sex and gender. A German is never offended by the word ER used to refer to someone of unknown sex, even though ER also means HE. That's because Germans are intelligent enough to know the difference between gender and sex, and that gender may have little to do with sex.

Even well-meaning organizations ask for you gender on applications now, but only out of ignorance. They surely want to know if you are male or female, not whether you enjoy eating butt or prancing on floats in parades.
The word SHIP often has a feminine gender. People refer to a ship as SHE.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005
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cotquean

A man who busies himself with activities more suitable for a woman.

A big sissy.
Clarence was tatting doilies again today. He's a real cotquean.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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tile peeler

A vile and mephitic fart. A fart that stinks so badly, it will clear out a smoke-filled pool hall. Downright nasty fart.
Melissa fired off a tile peeler in church, proving the Confucian adage, "Lady who fart in church sit in own pew."
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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