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CTU_FieldAgent200's definitions

Chester the Molester

1. Some dude in my neighborhood that legit everyone is afraid of. Kind of funny that it rhymes.

2. Chester the Molester...an old name of unknown origin referring to a child molester. I think everyone has a Chester the Molester in their town come to think of it...
1. Teenage girls: Ah omg chester the molester's gonna come after us! Don't go outside past dark or go near the big white windowless van!

2. Chester the Molester is one scary legend.
by CTU_FieldAgent200 September 14, 2011
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Clingy-female

1. A female or dog that literally physically holds onto you.

2. The worst case of a relationship or not actually a relationship 70% of the time. It starts off like any other relationship but the early symptoms are steep curve of attraction for the clinger so say they the subject female instantly wants a sexual relationship, they claim to love you, they quite literally fill your inbox or txt you at least 20 times a day up to 999 in severe cases though less is still subjected to extreme cases of anxiety, guilt and panic attacks, if your like me and already have anxiety you'll want to pay attention to the anti-clingy-female kit.

-Anti-anxiety agents like alcoholic beverages, xanax, etc. this will suppress your stress.
-Your cellphone carriers block number list
-Facebook privacy modifications
-Turn phone off in severe cases
Kill me now I just accidentally caught a clingy-female in the ocean of woman. Fuck...brb throwing phone into wall and downing half a bottle of k-pins.
by CTU_FieldAgent200 February 20, 2011
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ambien

A sleep aid that will fuck you up. Basically if you take it and don't go to bed your accross from a clingy drunk and retard. Also judgement is severely impaired, take one but hide the bottle because taking two extra always seams like a great idea under the influence. Makes you regret things the next day like wandering the house aimlously looking to annoy your parents with your new found legal intoxication.
Influenced author: Ambien is bad ass and I suggest you try it along wit xanax (not at the same time).
by CTU_FieldAgent200 June 10, 2010
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opiophobic shield

What doctors and more often physician assistants put up when someone with legitimate chronic pain has exhausted all other options aside from opioids; potent narcotic analgesics. The reason for it is usually the provider has been harassed by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) into thinking they have some "quota" or max number of times they can write for opioids which is bogus.

The shield usually consists of blatant lies to patients such as:
"I actually can't prescribe narcotics..."
"There is too much of a risk of addiction with that product so I'm not going to prescribe it"
"Its too addictive"
"I'm not allowed"
Or commonly just a blank stare as they look at you as if you just asked for 900mg of heroin in tablet form simultaneously coming up with a way to avoid the topic. Ask any chronic pain patient how many times they've had to arm wrestle physicians for better quality of life.
John 19 years old had been a star power lifter and football player for 5 years, towards the end of his high school experience he herniated a disc in his neck resulting in severe weakness and shooting pain in both arms. After 12 months of pain management with full compliance and patience John showed little improvement in his pain levels despite trying everything his physician suggested. When he asked for something stronger his doctor accused him of being drug seeking and dismissed his requests. When John ended up with more pain he had to see his doctors physicians assistant since the doctor was too busy playing golf. The physicians assistant lied to John and told him "he could not prescribe pain killers", the PA obviously didn't have the balls to be upfront and John continues to suffer.

Earny 91 years old had been doing manual labor work for over 30 years and was hit by a car causing severe pain that could not be resolved with regular pain killers. His doctor refused to put him on MS Contin or any other pain killers citing the fact that he could become addicted. Even though Earny's health was rapidly deteriorating his doctor put his own agenda ahead of Earny's quality of life. Earny died a slow painful death which could have been eased with Morphine.

Narcotics are vital and legitimate aspects of medicine! Do not be an opiophobic shield to a better life for pain patients!
by CTU_FieldAgent200 October 25, 2011
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Too cool for facebook

Someone who feels they are above everyone for not joining facebook or someone who is afraid their drunken debauchery will be caught by a college and ruin their life. Can also be used to describe that one friend who hasn't updated their facebook status in over a month to give the appearance of being "oh so busy and popular" despite facebook stalking random girls he requested daily.
Nick: hey broski get a facebook so you can see all the chicks commenting on how hot you were in the football game
Myer: my ego won't let me get a facebook, its telling me I'm way too cool for it
Nick: cool. *he's too cool for facebook I wish my ego was that big*
by CTU_FieldAgent200 June 23, 2010
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Woman time

20 mins in man time is approximately 1:25 hours in woman time. This definition is applicable when a woman (whether it be your mother, wife, girlfriend, female adequatence) claims she will be going somewhere (usually the store JUST to grab milk or to the pharmacy JUST to grab one thing) is gone for much longer than they told you. Woman think men do this but in reality it is them who do this. Usually their excuse is they "ran into someone" that they haven't seen in ages or that their was some deal at target or old navy, usually some shit like that.
Mom: Ill be gone for like 10 mins don't call me
*1:15 hour later*
Kid: Mom where you?!
*thinks* God damn woman time.
by CTU_FieldAgent200 May 16, 2010
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ass to the grass

The proper way to squat. Only girls and phaggots complain about this and if you think it kills your knees your just a pussy. Basically you go further pass parallel tell your ass is almost touching the ground ("grass"). This ensures you properly work all the muscles. And it looks way more bad ass. 225 ass to the grass or bust. Also known as ATG
Bob: *quarter squatting 225*

Frank: hey bob why don't you stop being a pussy and start squating ass to the grass *squats 315 ATG for ten reps*
by CTU_FieldAgent200 May 22, 2010
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