by CPT Ron October 07, 2019
Get the Exdubitablymug. "Man...that dirt hippie is wearing camping pants with no underwear. Would you look at that weiner lump? It is a like a leather sack full of nickels."
by CPT Ron October 12, 2013
Get the weiner lumpmug. A simp, but to a huge degree. Millennial or Zoomer who thinks he can nice guy his way into women’s pants, then gets all enraged when it doesn’t work because woman don’t actually like simps. The simpanzee is significantly worse than a simp in degree.
Look at my man buying his “best female friend” dinner again so he can not close with her. My man is a simpanzee.
by CPT Ron July 21, 2024
Get the Simpanzeemug. A house on stilts is a woman with a massive torso connected to two spindly, spider-like legs. She is the human personification of Baba Yagga's hut. She has the legs of a marathon runner and the upper body of a big fat sloppy American woman.
"Man, Maria is a real house on stilts. Look at the size of that chick's tiny legs! How do her legs even hold up that much bulk?"
by CPT Ron October 12, 2013
Get the House on stiltsmug. Noun. When a person is so incredibly brilliant that they can do something like invent an Iphone, but they cannot do simple things like tie their shoes so they wear velcro sneakers. The man who invented the microprocessor is velcro shoes smart.
Dr. K figured out how to put RAM, all the registers, flash memory, and the CPU all into one microcontroller. He is velcro shoes smart.
by CPT Ron November 14, 2017
Get the Velcro Shoes Smartmug. Noun. When you find a concept that a person who is brilliant wrote, that you don't understand. You open the wikipedia article about that concept, and open tabs in your browser for all of the links in that wikipedia article that you also don't understand. Eventually, you have 25 tabs open and you hit the terminal point where you understand, then you work your way backwards through the other 24 tabs until you understand it all. Choose your own adventure books were books that had many possible endings depending on the pages you chose. They were entertainment circa 1985.
How does MD5 hashing work? It uses one way functions...How do one way functions work? Uh oh, time for a wikipedia choose your own adventure.
by CPT Ron November 14, 2017
Get the wikipedia choose your own adventuremug. When you screw something up so badly in front of so many people, that you wish you were being pre-recorded on TV so you could ask the technical staff to literally "cut to commercial break." The cut to commercial break indicates that you have achieved an Xbox like screw up. If you were in a video game, the achievement "Worst thing you've done this year" would indicate below you on screen.
I had a savage, throbbing boner during my job interview yesterday. When I stood up, it kinked in my pants like a broken candy bar and I know the hiring manager saw it. I really wished I could have cut to commercial break. I could hear him telling his buddy I must be "fun sized" on the way out of the lobby.
by CPT Ron July 20, 2020
Get the Cut to Commercial Breakmug.