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C-Mills's definitions

theory of a deadman

Seriously. I can't tell the difference between Theory of a Deadman and Nickelback. What the fuck is with all these shitty rock bands that sound like each other?
by C-Mills January 21, 2010
mugGet the theory of a deadmanmug.

dane cook

Observational comedian who makes the most mundane (no pun intended) aspects of life hilarious. He talks about stuff we can all relate to, so he doesn't have to offend anyone to be funny (except maybe for prude assholes who don't like the F-word).

Unfortunately, a lot of Dane's fans are idiots who probably have never listened to other excellent comedians like Lewis Black or Ben Bailey...but that doesn't take away from his greatness.
"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE HIGHLANDER! TIRES CANNOT DEFEAT ME!"

"Fucken door! I don't like to be in a perfect square when I shit!"

Dane Cook is a Red Sox fan...Hey, nobody's perfect...
by C-Mills January 18, 2008
mugGet the dane cookmug.

no sure, shitlock

Spoonerism of "no shit sherlock." Same idea, but used to denote an even higher level of sarcasm.
Dad: "All this Loose Change stuff is based on bullshit"
Me: "No sure, shitlock"
by C-Mills June 10, 2010
mugGet the no sure, shitlockmug.

reliant k

Car made by Chrysler in the 1980's. Not to be confused with the band, Relient K.
She listened to Relient K while driving her Reliant K.
by C-Mills May 30, 2007
mugGet the reliant kmug.

the Steve Jeltz of

Steve Jeltz was a professional baseball player in the 1980s; he is generally regarded as one of the worst baseball players in recent memory. This belief may not be truly justified, but I digress...

To say somebody is "the Steve Jeltz of (something)" is to say that that person is among the worst in his or her profession, while indicating to the listener that you have some knowledge of baseball history.
About three years ago, I was watching some shitty horror movie with a friend and fellow baseball fan. I became irritated with the remarkably stiff and unconvincing performance of one of the actors, which led me to remark that he was "the Steve Jeltz of actors." Immediately after I said this, that actor yelled "OHHHH NOOOO!" in a hilariously bad voice.

My friend began laughing uncontrollably because of the unintentional, but perfect, juxtaposition of these two events. Since then, we have often referred to people who really suck at certain things as being "the Steve Jeltz of (whatever)."
by C-Mills September 14, 2012
mugGet the the Steve Jeltz ofmug.

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