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Boxcar Bob's definitions

car alarm

A device which insecure people waste money on because they are afraid their sacred, shiny cars will be stolen. Since about 99.9% of car alarms are false alarms, however, the owners eventually forget why they got the alarm in the first place, and get used to their cars crying wolf after a few occurrences.

Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
For the fiftieth time in two weeks, the car alarm went off triggered by a bird who perched itself on the trunk, which caused a neighbor to get a baton and whack the offending automobile until he was able to get to the alarm and break it in two. Five minutes later, as the commercial break arrived during the action thriller movie, the car owner came out. Suddenly he realized that the alarm he had originally came to stop was no longer blaring away. He then saw the damage to his precious luxury and fainted.
by Boxcar Bob February 24, 2008
mugGet the car alarmmug.

August school

The process of starting the regular school year in August. School used to start in September (after Labor Day) until some fanatical teachers decided that maybe it'd be a good idea to start school before Labor Day. Many inconsiderate, unloving parents agreed with these wicked teachers and it wasn't long before the crimes started being committed all over the United States. Now some schools begin as early as the first week of August.
Kid #1: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Kid #2: What's the problem?
Kid #1: School starts tomorrow, August 9, and it's back to homework, tests, and torture! And it's 100 degrees outside and they have no A.C.
Kid #2: I don't know which is worse - Saturday school, summer school, or August school!
Kid #1: August school (good name) is the worst!
Kid #2: My school still starts in September. Poor you!
by Boxcar Bob October 17, 2008
mugGet the August schoolmug.

cartorcycle

A noisy car that sounds exactly like a loud motorcycle.
VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM! Arggh! It's another noisy motorcycle, I mean car, I mean cartorcycle. Obviously the douchebag driver wants some attention as he think he's really cool.
by Boxcar Bob July 28, 2019
mugGet the cartorcyclemug.

antimedicine

A medicine, often advertised on TV commercials as revolutionary, that is known to cause more problems than it cures.
TV Commercial for Allerelieva (antimedicine):

It's pollen season, so when you're suffering with allergies, you need the new Allerelieva!
(Beautiful music plays, happy people shown dancing)
This revolutionary new formula will rejuvenate you and get you through those warm spring days allergy free!
(Spectacular nature scenes shown)
But Allerelieva is not for everyone! Side effects may include sore throat, runny nose, fever, coughing, shortness of breath, seizures, and death.
(Relaxing music continues to play, people shown enjoying gorgeous mountains)
If you suffer with allergies, consult your physician now to see if Allerelieva is right for you.
by Boxcar Bob March 29, 2007
mugGet the antimedicinemug.

Blair Johnson

A blah guy who sometimes fills in for supermodel hottie Ashley Russell on Yahoo Sports Minute and Rivals Minute.
When he fills in, it is a major disappointment for many, including non-sports fans, who watch the videos solely to admire and drool over the sexy blonde.
The young man opened up Rivals Minute one morning, prepared to enjoy the stunning beauty of Ashley Russell, only to find that Blair Johnson was filling in for her. "I hate when that guy fills in for her", he said. "How dare she take a day off?"
by Boxcar Bob July 3, 2009
mugGet the Blair Johnsonmug.

sucking streak

A more alliterative and shameful way to describe a losing streak
Phil: The 76ers of the NBA have lost 15 in a row and the games were not even close!
Mike: Yes, they are in quite a sucking streak right now!
by Boxcar Bob March 20, 2014
mugGet the sucking streakmug.

USSA

USSA stands for Union of Socialist States of America. It's what the United States will become if the progressives take full control of all 3 branches of the government.
Progressive: I hate America. I hate capitalism. We need to become like the USSR.
Republican: No we cannot let that happen, we cannot become socialist. We cannot become the USSA. Most of the people will suffer. Look at Venezuela.
Progressive: You racist bigot. You climate change denier. You need to be locked up for your beliefs. Equality for everyone, even if it means giving up your hard earned money to people who don't want to work. It's USSA or we all die from global warming.
by Boxcar Bob March 12, 2019
mugGet the USSAmug.

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