Boxcar Bob's definitions

USSA

USSA stands for Union of Socialist States of America. It's what the United States will become if the progressives take full control of all 3 branches of the government.

Progressive: I hate America. I hate capitalism. We need to become like the USSR.
Republican: No we cannot let that happen, we cannot become socialist. We cannot become the USSA. Most of the people will suffer. Look at Venezuela.
Progressive: You racist bigot. You climate change denier. You need to be locked up for your beliefs. Equality for everyone, even if it means giving up your hard earned money to people who don't want to work. It's USSA or we all die from global warming.

by Boxcar Bob March 12, 2019

job interview

A process in which arrogant recruiters deny themselves the benefits of many talented, capable, candidates due to an unfair screening process that in absolutely no way reflects the everyday job situation or assesses the skills required to succeed.

A talented person who had produced major growth in his previous company and had 5 years of experience in C# got a rejection after a job interview in which the recruiter said he was not skilled enough to do the job. This was because they asked questions on language concepts that are rarely used in C# and gave a brainteaser algorithm to code up in a 15 minute time limit without a compiler or computer.

by Boxcar Bob April 28, 2008

cartorcycle

A noisy car that sounds exactly like a loud motorcycle.

VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM! Arggh! It's another noisy motorcycle, I mean car, I mean cartorcycle. Obviously the douchebag driver wants some attention as he think he's really cool.

by Boxcar Bob July 28, 2019

tech suckport

English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors.

Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)

Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)

by Boxcar Bob August 2, 2007

June Gloom

Extremely annoying late spring to early summer (and sometimes all summer long) weather phenomenon in coastal Southern California that causes relentless, damp, dreary, miserable weather with drizzle and fog for weeks without end at the beaches. It sometimes spreads into the mountains. This shocks tourists who come to 'sunny Southern California' to instead find themselves in Alaska. It spoils beach days a'plenty and for most locals is the most dreaded time of the year. Number 1 cause for Seasonal Affective Disorder in Southern California. A.k.a. May Gray.

Tourist from East Coast: We're going to sunny Southern California to celebrate Memorial Day and the start of summer.
(Tourist arrives in San Diego)
Tourist: What's up with this stupid weather. Where is the sun?
Local: This is our June Gloom. We've just entered into winter in San Diego. You'll be very lucky if you see the sun at all the next month.

by Boxcar Bob June 12, 2007

cancer session

Time spent smoking a cigarette. So called because cigarettes cause cancer.

The employee stood for ten minutes outside in the rain, wind, and hail, missing an important phone call. Then he returned from his cancer session, in which he satisfied his nicotine craving.

by Boxcar Bob January 11, 2009

Santa Ana winds

Hot, dry winds in Southern California that come from the desert, most common during fall or winter. They bring very low humidity, world class visibility, and perfect weather, until they incite arsonists to start fires, which the winds spread at explosive rates.

While New York was suffering with a mid-January blizzard, the Santa Ana winds came to Southern California and brought gorgeous 85 degree weather and deep blue skies to San Diego, at which point an arsonist scumbag started a fire that burned 750000 acres and 500 homes.

by Boxcar Bob October 28, 2006