Boxcar Bob's definitions

antimedicine

A medicine, often advertised on TV commercials as revolutionary, that is known to cause more problems than it cures.

TV Commercial for Allerelieva (antimedicine):

It's pollen season, so when you're suffering with allergies, you need the new Allerelieva!
(Beautiful music plays, happy people shown dancing)
This revolutionary new formula will rejuvenate you and get you through those warm spring days allergy free!
(Spectacular nature scenes shown)
But Allerelieva is not for everyone! Side effects may include sore throat, runny nose, fever, coughing, shortness of breath, seizures, and death.
(Relaxing music continues to play, people shown enjoying gorgeous mountains)
If you suffer with allergies, consult your physician now to see if Allerelieva is right for you.

by Boxcar Bob March 29, 2007

Los Angeles Kers

New name for the Los Angeles Lakers of the NBA since half their team is out due to injuries. Mike D'Antoni is fully to blame for enforcing a fast-paced offense on aging players and not giving them enough rest time which has weakened their bodies significantly and increased their vulnerability to injury. As a result, they are no longer a complete team, and their team name should not be complete either. Finally, L.A. Kers, still spells out the original team name, which also shows how broken up the former Lakers have become.

L.A. Kers fan: The Lakers have lost 22 out of their 27 last games. I can't believe it.
L.A. Clippers fan: Don't you mean the Los Angeles Kers? Half their team is gone due to injuries. Soon they'll have less than 5 healthy players and will become the first NBA team in history not able to finish the regular season.
L.A. Kers fan: You're right! Why are they called the Lakers anyway if they live in an arid climate?

by Boxcar Bob February 18, 2014

moronavirus

A virus related to COVID-19 that affects both sides of the political spectrum. Symptoms are either intense overreaction or extreme ignorance.

Moronavirus patient #1: How dare you step outside your house. We need to keep locked down until we find a vaccine.
Response: Really? Do you realize over 25% of the population could die from poverty, stress, or suicide if we do that?
Moronavirus patient #2: COVID-19 is a hoax. Let's go out and party, party, party.
Response: What's wrong with you? My friend died of COVID-19. Do you want to keep us shut down forever and get orher people sick?

by Boxcar Bob May 26, 2020

cancer session

Time spent smoking a cigarette. So called because cigarettes cause cancer.

The employee stood for ten minutes outside in the rain, wind, and hail, missing an important phone call. Then he returned from his cancer session, in which he satisfied his nicotine craving.

by Boxcar Bob January 11, 2009

Santa Ana winds

Hot, dry winds in Southern California that come from the desert, most common during fall or winter. They bring very low humidity, world class visibility, and perfect weather, until they incite arsonists to start fires, which the winds spread at explosive rates.

While New York was suffering with a mid-January blizzard, the Santa Ana winds came to Southern California and brought gorgeous 85 degree weather and deep blue skies to San Diego, at which point an arsonist scumbag started a fire that burned 750000 acres and 500 homes.

by Boxcar Bob October 28, 2006

Mexinvasion

The unavoidable increase of Mexican illegal immigrant population in the United States, especially in Southern states like California. From there it will spread to the rest of the U.S until the Mexicans become the predominant ethnic group in the U.S., the official language will become Spanish, and America will become a third world country.

The family is considering moving out of California. Seeing the slow detorioration of cities around them and hearing the dire predictions that whites will soon become a minority, they know they must either become fluent in Spanish or escape the Mexinvasion.

by Boxcar Bob November 9, 2008

USSA

USSA stands for Union of Socialist States of America. It's what the United States will become if the progressives take full control of all 3 branches of the government.

Progressive: I hate America. I hate capitalism. We need to become like the USSR.
Republican: No we cannot let that happen, we cannot become socialist. We cannot become the USSA. Most of the people will suffer. Look at Venezuela.
Progressive: You racist bigot. You climate change denier. You need to be locked up for your beliefs. Equality for everyone, even if it means giving up your hard earned money to people who don't want to work. It's USSA or we all die from global warming.

by Boxcar Bob March 12, 2019