Boxcar Bob's definitions

CBS

Covetous Broadcasting System. So called because they require large fees from cable and satellite companies to air their channels. If these companies refuse to pay their ridiculous fees, CBS will black their channel out until they pay the greedy snobs their insane prices. They have done this before to Dish and now to DirecTV.

Also they will move their most popular programs to CBS All Access, which costs extra money to watch programs online even if you do have their regular channel.

CBS, the Covetous Broadcasting System has lost many viewers due to their blackouts and extra fees, but they have not learned their lesson.

by Boxcar Bob July 24, 2019

boxcar

One of those disgusting looking rectangular vehicles like the Scion xB. Most people would never buy such an ugly thing, but some just have strange tastes and preferences

The Laguna Beach youth parked his new Scion xB boxcar in the cul de sac, where it became an eyesore to the neighbors

by Boxcar Bob November 7, 2008

job interview

A process in which arrogant recruiters deny themselves the benefits of many talented, capable, candidates due to an unfair screening process that in absolutely no way reflects the everyday job situation or assesses the skills required to succeed.

A talented person who had produced major growth in his previous company and had 5 years of experience in C# got a rejection after a job interview in which the recruiter said he was not skilled enough to do the job. This was because they asked questions on language concepts that are rarely used in C# and gave a brainteaser algorithm to code up in a 15 minute time limit without a compiler or computer.

by Boxcar Bob April 28, 2008

tech suckport

English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors.

Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)

Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)

by Boxcar Bob August 2, 2007

June Gloom

Extremely annoying late spring to early summer (and sometimes all summer long) weather phenomenon in coastal Southern California that causes relentless, damp, dreary, miserable weather with drizzle and fog for weeks without end at the beaches. It sometimes spreads into the mountains. This shocks tourists who come to 'sunny Southern California' to instead find themselves in Alaska. It spoils beach days a'plenty and for most locals is the most dreaded time of the year. Number 1 cause for Seasonal Affective Disorder in Southern California. A.k.a. May Gray.

Tourist from East Coast: We're going to sunny Southern California to celebrate Memorial Day and the start of summer.
(Tourist arrives in San Diego)
Tourist: What's up with this stupid weather. Where is the sun?
Local: This is our June Gloom. We've just entered into winter in San Diego. You'll be very lucky if you see the sun at all the next month.

by Boxcar Bob June 12, 2007

ANSI

Association of Noteworthy Standards Ignorance - so called because developers of technology don't understand the true meaning (American National Standards Institute) and refuse to implement their rules. This causes nightmares for other developers, especially with different database vendors and programming language implementations.

The programmer spent many unproductive weeks and experienced various nightmares converting the large e-commerce application to use Oracle instead of SQL Server after his firm decided to switch vendors. Since neither implementation of SQL adheres to the ANSI standards, problems can be expected to keep coming in the future.

by Boxcar Bob March 1, 2007

mockingbird

A bird who never sleeps, imitates other birds and animals, car horns, and whatnot, and doesn't shut up all night long, just because it is looking for a mate.

They can be recognized by their song: 'Chirrup chirrup chirrup tweet tweet tweet beep beep beep twirrup twirrup twirrup weet weet weet honk honk honk cheep cheep cheep bereep bereep bereep ...'

After being kept awake for 10 nights by the non-stop singing of the stupid mockingbird in the tree outside my bedroom, I lit up a stick of dynamite to blow up the tree and kill the annoying critter for good.

by Boxcar Bob November 5, 2006