Boxcar Bob's definitions

August school

The process of starting the regular school year in August. School used to start in September (after Labor Day) until some fanatical teachers decided that maybe it'd be a good idea to start school before Labor Day. Many inconsiderate, unloving parents agreed with these wicked teachers and it wasn't long before the crimes started being committed all over the United States. Now some schools begin as early as the first week of August.

Kid #1: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Kid #2: What's the problem?
Kid #1: School starts tomorrow, August 9, and it's back to homework, tests, and torture! And it's 100 degrees outside and they have no A.C.
Kid #2: I don't know which is worse - Saturday school, summer school, or August school!
Kid #1: August school (good name) is the worst!
Kid #2: My school still starts in September. Poor you!

by Boxcar Bob October 17, 2008

mockingbird

A bird who never sleeps, imitates other birds and animals, car horns, and whatnot, and doesn't shut up all night long, just because it is looking for a mate.

They can be recognized by their song: 'Chirrup chirrup chirrup tweet tweet tweet beep beep beep twirrup twirrup twirrup weet weet weet honk honk honk cheep cheep cheep bereep bereep bereep ...'

After being kept awake for 10 nights by the non-stop singing of the stupid mockingbird in the tree outside my bedroom, I lit up a stick of dynamite to blow up the tree and kill the annoying critter for good.

by Boxcar Bob November 5, 2006

job interview

A process in which arrogant recruiters deny themselves the benefits of many talented, capable, candidates due to an unfair screening process that in absolutely no way reflects the everyday job situation or assesses the skills required to succeed.

A talented person who had produced major growth in his previous company and had 5 years of experience in C# got a rejection after a job interview in which the recruiter said he was not skilled enough to do the job. This was because they asked questions on language concepts that are rarely used in C# and gave a brainteaser algorithm to code up in a 15 minute time limit without a compiler or computer.

by Boxcar Bob April 28, 2008

CBS

Covetous Broadcasting System. So called because they require large fees from cable and satellite companies to air their channels. If these companies refuse to pay their ridiculous fees, CBS will black their channel out until they pay the greedy snobs their insane prices. They have done this before to Dish and now to DirecTV.

Also they will move their most popular programs to CBS All Access, which costs extra money to watch programs online even if you do have their regular channel.

CBS, the Covetous Broadcasting System has lost many viewers due to their blackouts and extra fees, but they have not learned their lesson.

by Boxcar Bob July 24, 2019

boxcar

One of those disgusting looking rectangular vehicles like the Scion xB. Most people would never buy such an ugly thing, but some just have strange tastes and preferences

The Laguna Beach youth parked his new Scion xB boxcar in the cul de sac, where it became an eyesore to the neighbors

by Boxcar Bob November 7, 2008

Racist

Not in agreement with progressive leftist policies.

Sane person: Climate change is real, but the world will not end by 2030 if we don't adopt the Green New Deal.

Progressive: You stupid racist.

Republican: Capitalism is better than socialism and much better than Communism
Progressive: No, capitalism is racist and racism is capitalism.
Traditional liberal: Like MLK, I long for the day when people will be judged by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.

Progressive: You are a bigoted racist.

by Boxcar Bob June 27, 2021

Los Angeles Kers

New name for the Los Angeles Lakers of the NBA since half their team is out due to injuries. Mike D'Antoni is fully to blame for enforcing a fast-paced offense on aging players and not giving them enough rest time which has weakened their bodies significantly and increased their vulnerability to injury. As a result, they are no longer a complete team, and their team name should not be complete either. Finally, L.A. Kers, still spells out the original team name, which also shows how broken up the former Lakers have become.

L.A. Kers fan: The Lakers have lost 22 out of their 27 last games. I can't believe it.
L.A. Clippers fan: Don't you mean the Los Angeles Kers? Half their team is gone due to injuries. Soon they'll have less than 5 healthy players and will become the first NBA team in history not able to finish the regular season.
L.A. Kers fan: You're right! Why are they called the Lakers anyway if they live in an arid climate?

by Boxcar Bob February 18, 2014