Blenderhead91's definitions

Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.

I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.

by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009

pussy paste

(n.) A thick, foul-smelling substance the consistency of cupcake frosting produced by a woman's yeast-infected or grievously unwashed vagina. Pussy paste tends to collect around the labia in the form of clumps. Shed pubic hairs may or may not be present in the pussy paste stalactites, but when it is, it lends a certain aspect of visual horror to their appearance. It is widely accepted that pussy paste smells similar to the shithouse on a tuna boat.

I really like Susan, but her pussy paste problem is just too much to handle without a gas mask.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Corn Surprise

(n.) The act of discovering the presence of corn in one's bowel movement when you know it's been a long time since you have eaten any corn.

"Hey Liddy! Check out this floater I just pinched off! It's a corn surprise! When was it we last had corn?"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Reversible Yam

(n.) The external genitalia of a woman; the vulva.

"Look at the camel-toe of Glennis! I betcha her reversible yam is in need of a good noshing!"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Lap Cannon

(n.) a pseudonym for a gigantic cock; an abnormally large penis.

I wish that little honey would come over here and slob on my lap cannon.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Third Testicle

(n.) The presence of a third body in one's scrotum. Most likely cancer. Get yourself checked if you think you have a third testicle.

Douglas: "Neil, check this out! I have a third testicle."

Neil: "Doug, I hate to burst your bubble, man, but that looks like cancer."

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

E.L.D.

(n.) Abbreviation for "Explosive Liquid Diarrhea," a very unpleasant gastro-intestinal condition, indeed.

"Mom, I gotta stay home from school today. I have E.L.D. and didn't quite make it to the can in time."

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009