BillieJeanIsNotMyLover's definitions

Reason

A justification to yourself for a bad decision.

I want to get blackout on a Tuesday but I'll need a reason first. . .

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018

Buying Cigarettes

Leaving your family forever.

My daddy left, said he was "buying cigarettes." That was 7 years ago.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover August 7, 2018

on the take

Getting paid for one’s role in fraud or corruption.

The entire state of Louisiana is on the take.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 14, 2019

diddly squat

diddly squat ain’t but nuthin’ at all

I had DIDDLY SQUAT to do with selling all that gay pornography to those terrorists!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover August 19, 2019

Russian Judge

A Russian Judge is someone who plays favorites under the pretense of objectivity.

Comes from the communist-block winter olympic judges during late Cold War who gave tens in figure-skating to communists and sixes to capitalists.

After the skater from Belarus' fatal fall during her tripple-axel, the Russian Judge proudly awarded a 10.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 26, 2018

Texas Hold ‘Em

The superior form of poker: each player is dealt 2 cards, face down. A round of betting ensues. Then 3 cards are dealt in the middle of the table, face up. Bet. Another card in the middle. Bet. Again. Bet. Your hand is not required to include the initial facedown cards and standard poker rules apply.

If a winner fails to shout “yee-haw” before grabbing her chips, she mist shout 5 “the starts at night are big and bright,” each followed by 5 short claps of the hands and a joyous “DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!”

Anyone who forgets the Alamo must be shot.

Let’s play Texas Hold ‘Em

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 16, 2019