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Biafra J's definitions

Jamie Nickson

The Most Powerful Assassin of the 21st Century. Also the most unique.
That’s how I do my job-through the pure generalisation of others.
by Biafra J July 25, 2004
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Gringing

The nail biting, anxiety caused when a joke in Family Guy is seriously overstretched.

Like when Peter got kicked in the shin by that oompa loompa. That was good though.
Dustin Hoaffman. Are you trying to seduce me?

Newsreporter. no im not trying to seduce you mr Hauffman!

DH. Bring me Peter Pan!

NR. Ok, ill keep my eye out for him...
by Biafra J July 25, 2004
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Lewa

A description of a black girl, with a nice face, great ass and and massive tats. A treat.
Fuck me, did ye see that Lewa back there? Me dick is actin up already
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
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Blonde

Whoever says Blondes are dumb are fuckwits. im blonde and ive already made 5 major movies, made 6 grand and have my own business. Im still in school and all. Go figure.
Blondes are da best-rest are jealous.
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
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Loch Ness

If you chuck in a mythical monster which no-one in a huge crowd has ever seen, make him out to be the cutest thing since Gizmo, and situate in a growing land with no-one to bother you, you've got one booming business!
If you go down to Loch Ness today you'll see the splendors of the midgie, a fly like the mosquitoe, who attack in thousands.
Or maybe the herds of yanks, who come with their massive cars, fat wifes and fatter children, who pay over 30 pound to watch some acne-infested student tell them about the legend of an over-sized fish, which he reads off his hand.
In the case of an emergency, such as Nessie getting kidnapped by a senile old billionaire, a fire, or 99.9% of the time, the tour guide needing a fag break, just wait a few hours as he walks out to tend to the needs of his habit and goes to get something to eat, while you stand with a bunch of other gullible foreigners who don't understand what exactly the receptionist was laughing about when you handed her a 100 pound note.
And after a complete waste of 2 hours, sit down and chow on a nessie burger, which can be found in the dozens of burger bars situated in Loch Ness.
(Do not believe that the name nessie burger means that there is any source of Nessie in it. It tastes more like hobo)
Like that isn't enough, come buy cute nessie dolls at the toy shops, such as Nessie saying "Cause im green, innit?"
or the usual "scottish stereotype being chased by a ferocious penise shaped head while fishing for chips" shirt.
So, if your looking to get swindled out of your money, have your kids flesh torn apart by midgies, and all in all, sit in the pishing rain looking for your green chum Nessie, come ahead.
It fab dabby dastard. (Cough)
Roaaaar! Im Nessie, i can speak over so languages and im lovable and cute, so why dont you buy your kids some of my over-expensive inexpensible merchandise? your kids will love you for years to come. unless you dont like kids. You like kids- dont you?
Loch Ness Tourism Board
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
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Ethiopia

The Spur of some of the most sick jokes ive ever heard.
What do you call an ethiopian with a big nose?

A Golf Club.

Blacks dont feel pain the same us we do. Yeah right Mr Bush.
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
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super furry animals

A very strange american animated show consisting of really cute animals getting slaughtered brutally in funny ways. each episode lasts about 4 minutes. extremely addictive.
by Biafra J July 26, 2004
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