Alpino's definitions

Army

A part of the US military that uses acronyms and knows how to spell, unlike their USMC brothers that think ARMY is an acronym for "ain't ready to be marines yet". When I tried it was ARTBMY. US ARMY actually means "Uncle Sam Ass Raped Me Yesterday"

- Have fought in every war for our nation, not guarded unruly sailors.

- Are capable of thinking, at least the Airborne, SF, Rangers. A very dangerous weapon indeed! The Marines react, which has its place.

- Are not a branch of the Navy

- The ARMY gives awards for "being"

- Wears black berets like Saddam Hussein did

- Gets things done without a cheerleader type PR... you know who does. The ARMY hires shitty advertising agencies.

- Admits to its mistakes

It's a War when the Army gets involved.

by Alpino October 28, 2008

ski trash

The reality of ski bums... the cute name for these type of "professional" skiers who exist hand to mouth, mooching beers or bongs, living on other peoples couches... but have a really good time skiing over 100 times a season!

Half the people in this town on unemployment or washing dishes at night are ski trash.

Q. What do you call ski trash without a girlfriend?

A. Homeless

by Alpino March 15, 2010

General Order Number One

A series of military general orders prohibiting alcohol, war souvenirs, pornography, pets, satellite TV, wireless internet, Blogs, fraternization with opposite sex in war zones. Sort of like WW2s Catch-22. It means you can get in trouble for just about any non-military activity. Thanks Vietnam!

"dude... look at this Hustler, cute kitten, haji pistol, bottle of JD"

"put it away you stupid fuck before we get in more trouble"

"uh, yah General Order Number One, shit!!!"

by Alpino March 29, 2010

retard chimp strong

We all know chimps are much stronger than humans, and retards are much stronger than "normal" humans... can you imagine the strength of a retarded chimp? A new level of "going apeshit"

When the police arrived and tried to cuff him, he got retard chimp strong, kicked the two pepper spraying cops asses, and ran into the night.

by Alpino May 15, 2016

center of the universe

the vagina

men might think they control the world but women possess the center of the universe

by Alpino October 28, 2008

Elk-Qaeda

When a grunt returns from Iraq or Afghanistan- his attitude about hunting.

or simply, the serious nature of elk hunting.

Man loading a rifle into his truck out west.

friend- "what are you doing?"

man- "Looking for elk-qaeda"

by Alpino December 15, 2008

husky reins

holding a woman's hair with one or both hands in various forms of sex, from the front or from behind

"she tried to get away but I controlled the situation with her husky reins"

by Alpino February 5, 2012