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eBaum

The webmaster of eBaumsworld.com, arguebly the most shamelessly self-promoting site on the Internet. Has its fair share of funny material, all of which was scrounged around the Internet and has had the eBaumsworld logo crapped on it in some way, effectively shitting on the face of the content's real owner. Also infamous for false advertising; if eBaumsworld's promotes itself as hosting "clean humour and nothing pornographic", then I'd shudder at anything the webmaster might consider remotely "dirty".
Image banner: "This image is NOT the property of eBaumsworld's.com"
Surfer: "So why the flying fuck is this ugly banner stripped across it?! It's fucking the picture up!"
Answer: Because anybody linking to said image is actually promoting the site by anybody reading the domain name stripped across the violated picture. Brilliant strategy, eBaum.
by Alhadis December 9, 2004
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Jamster

A ringtone company that is responsible for producing the most unbearably irritating commercials to have ever plagued television. Most hideously annoying of all is that sodding "frog" (which resembles a swollen tumour given eyes, a helmet, and tiny genetalia with a "Censored" tag crapped across it), whose high-pitched squealing, ridiculously annoying animations and general nature, all proves that Jamster is making their profits from a DELIBERATE attempt to drive people insane. So far, for many audiences, it's working.

Aside from that sodding amphibian that's become Jamster's most infamously irritating mascot, Jamster provide equally annoying ringtones, wallpapers and screensavers, many of which are crass, crappy, and/or lame, 4-5 frame animations. Anybody willing to waste money for something that was directly manifested out of pure hate, evil and a company's desire to further shove one more annoying commercial into the TV network's already over-bloated advertising market... need to be cleansed from the human gene pool.
Watcher #1: "Oh shits, not that fucking Jamster commercial! SHIT, where's the fucking remote?!"
Crazy Frog: *mimics a DJ whilst squeaking in pitched tones*
Watcher #1: "Ah, shit! I can't find it! Quick, do SOMETHING!"
Watcher #2: "AAAARRGGGGH!!" *hurls a baseball bat into the TV-screen*
Watcher #1: "That's the third fucking television Jamster's caused me to break. Fuck, I need to start keeping track of where the remote's kept."
by Alhadis May 27, 2005
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Grue

Comes from the Old English verb for "shudder" (presumably the origin of the modern word "gruesome" as well; literally "shudder-some"). Grues are creepy, sinister creatures from the Zork series, the oldest and most influential of the old text-based adventure games. They're hardly ever seen because they despise light and only emerge in areas of complete darkness, where they prey upon adventurers and enchanters. Easily pissed off and vicious, they're repelled by even the faintest glow of light; meaning that a simple torch can be enough to keep the grues at bay. They're mysterious; short of their glaring eyes and sharp fangs-and-teeth, nobody knows what grues look like, exactly. They're known for their constant slaving and gurgling, and especially their nasty tempers.

In the game's feedback display itself, the grues were often a warning that a user should start looking for a light source... badly. "You have entered a dark area. You will likely be eaten by a grue" was a common description in the Zork adventure games; adventurers going underground would be wise to bring a good supply of oil for a lantern. Once the lights go out, the grues swarm all over you (ripping you apart before the game gives you a death message, like "Grues eat well tonight"). Infocom's official description of the "grue" (notice the lack of plural; it was unclear in the earlier Zork instalments whether there was only *one* grue, lurking as a sinister presence in the underground's darkness... or more then one) is:

"The grue, according to scholars of the Great Underground Empire, is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favourite diet is either adventurers or enchanters, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its extreme fear of light. No grues have ever been seen by the light of day, and only a few have been observed in their underground lairs. Of those who have seen grues, few have survived their fearsome jaws to tell the tale. Grues have sharp claws and fangs, and an uncontrollable tendency to slaver and gurgle. They are certainly the most evil-tempered of all creatures; to say they are touchy is a dangerous understatement. "Sour as a grue" is a common expression, even among themselves."
Text-screen: "You have entered the crypt. A hallway slopes downwards before you, leading into pitch blackness."
User #1 (types in): "head downwards"
Screen: "You walk into the darkness. You will likely surely be eaten by a grue if you don't find a light source."
User #2 (talking to first user): "Dude, you're gonna get eaten by grues..."
User #1: "Don't worry, I brought a lantern." *types in* "take out lantern*
Screen: "You left the crypt door open. A draft blows through, putting out your lantern."
User #1: "Oh shits, I knew I should've brought a hooded lantern."
User #2: "Quick, light it again!"
User #1: "Can't, man. No oil or matches."
Screen: "Another wind picks up and closes the crypt's door, blocking out the moonlight."
User #1: "Oh man, no matches or anything...? We are *so* fucked..."
Screen: "It's nice and dark in here. Just the way the grues like it..." *screen goes black, followed by nasty growling sounds*
User #1: "Son-of-a-bitch... remind me to stick a rock in the door to keep it from blowing shut next time."
by Alhadis May 9, 2005
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Terry Pratchett

Despite being one of the funniest writers alive, and having a nearly unsurpassed level of creative genius, this man is *still* largely underrated as one of England's most brilliant writers, with writers like J.K. Rowling walking away with the most fame and recognition for books that are, in comparison to the Discworld novels, overrated piles of crap. There's nothing in Terry Pratchett's works that could make me keep a straight face- EVER, and each novel is utterly hilarious in a well-worded, balanced fashion that conveys a distinctive style of British humour that's become Terry Pratchett's style. The man might be coming along in his years, but he's shown NO signs of slowing down over the years... hilarious, creative, witty, and able to write novels that're both clever and compelling without overdoing humour or storyline. That's the true essence of Pratchett's genius; not just being funny, but keeping readers involved in the book rather then the jokes alone.

Pick up one of his novels and give yourself a laugh. If you find yourself reading through at least a single chapter and can't laugh at least ONCE, you're in need of some serious psychological assistance.
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set fire to the man and he's warm for the rest of his life." ~ Jingo, another of Terry Pratchett's more well-known novels.
by Alhadis July 31, 2008
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You ripper!

Australian (informal; colloquialism)- A light-hearted phrase used to express encouragement and rowdy approval towards another, often acknowledgement of a difficult accomplishment. Considered a "trademark" of the Australian jargon (the latter aptly known as "Strine", after the supposed initial pronounciation of Australian language)
Average Joe #1: Did ya hear? Melbourne hammered the Swans by a bloody 50 points in last nights game at the MCG! Our team's gonna make it to the finals!
Average Joe #2: Really?! You ripper!
by Alhadis January 18, 2004
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Breezertaal

Dutch slang referring to the usual chav/script-kiddie style of writing over IRC or MSN in distorted upper/lower-case (e.g., "cHeCK iT oUt i cAnT uSE a kEyBoARD cuz iM kOoL"). While the word is generally used in Holland, the actual writing "style" is to be encountered by IM-users anywhere around the world... generally because mindless chevs or ditzy 14-year old girls think it's "cool" to write sentences that make a reader's eyes bleed.
MSN user name #1: "iF yOU wAnT mE, cOMe aND gEt mE"
MSN user name #2: "i lUV jArED hes mY bOYfrIEND"
Insane Dutch reader: "Man, that's IT! I can't take anymore of this Breezertaal!"
by Alhadis June 26, 2005
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Jesus H. Christ

A phrase used to express particular suprise, disgust or shock to an instance, as emphasized by the "H" (which stands for "Holy"). It's used in the same context as "Jesus Christ!", except the H is added to include greater emphasis on the concern.

Note: The phrase is no more-or-less blasphemous than "Jesus Christ"
by Alhadis June 17, 2004
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