Alhadis's definitions

Crane

1) A type of wading, marsh-dwelling, long-legged bird
2) A machine utilised by builders as construction equipment, to shift heavy loads, materials, or supplies
3) (informal) An exceptionally attractive member of the opposite sex, typically a female.

1) Wow, check out the legs on those cranes!
2) This crane's getting old... I'm not sure if it's gonna withstand the rust any longer.
3) Wow! Check out the legs on those cranes!

by Alhadis June 29, 2004

Anti-gamer

Somebody who still refuses to accept that video games have become a major and defining element of our culture. The belief that only lonely, agoraphobic and pencil-necked geeks play computer games is an archaic stereotype, and Anti-gamers primarily believe only geeks and nerds spend their time playing video games. In reality, this is pretty much the same as saying "only sluts ever have sex". Today, everybody plays video and computer games; anti-gamers tend to show soccer-mum qualities and *really* need to wake up and get with the times.

Anti-gamer: "You play video games...? Man, you really need to get a fucking life."
Gamer: "So kickin-ass in Half-life 2, Splinter Cell, and a dozen other ass-kicking FPS with a massive ring of friends over Xbox-live or LAN parties makes me a geek? I think you need to follow your own advice about getting a life, pal. This isn't the 80s, anymore."

Anti-gamer: "Yeah, whatevs. I'm sure all your "friends" are geekish losers who can't get any sex so they spend all their time jerking off over Lara Croft's fake tits."
Gamer: "Uh-huh. I'm sure all your 'friends' are narrow-minded jocks and brainless preps who haven't realized that a large ring of friends playing over Xbox live, or something, is just another way for friends to hang out and enjoy each other's company."

by Alhadis March 29, 2005

Zoidberg

Despite being the 'unpopular' character in the series, Dr. John Zoidberg is one of the most popular characters of the hilarious show Futurama, known for his voracious appetite, strange mating rituals, and complete ineptitude at dealing with human patients. Speaking of which, he's not human; he's a giant lobster. Who wears sandals. Is also known for his famous "w00p w00p w00p w00p" noise he makes when running away from danger. Loved by fans of the show, hated by the characters (For being lazy, disgusting and glutenous). Second only to Bender in hilarity.

(Planet Express has been blown back through time to the 1950s, the site of Roswell Air base, and Zoidberg has been captured by army recruits and is being interrogated by President Truman)
Truman: "If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If y'here to make war, *we* surrender."
Zoidberg: "Both good... the important thing is; I’m meeting new people."
President Truman: "Bush-wah! Now, what’s your mission? Are you planning to make some alien/human hybrid?"
Zoidberg: "Are you coming onto me?!"
President Truman: "Hot crackers! I take exception to that!"
Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a no..."

by Alhadis July 29, 2008

PTSC

Short for "preteen softcore", an acronym commonly used on P2P networks (compare with "PTHC", similarly referring to "preteen hardcore".) Regardless of whatever some sick, twisted bastard might think, downloading and sharing Softcore child pornography is no less redeemable then Hardcore child porn. It's all the same sick, twisted shit that paedophiles give acronyms such as these to in order to avoid having their disturbed shit filtered out by the standard filename keywords (e.g., "celeb", "amateur", "80-year old paedophile’s who should've been put down at birth, etc)

Limewire user: *searches for Simpsons episodes*
Limewire: *lists several various entries displaying "REAL PTSC"!!
User: "PTSC? What the hell does that stand for? I guess it must be Simpsons-related, as it *did* show up in my search."
*downloads and looks, only to be horrified by the sick shit displayed onscreen*
User: "AAARGGH!! Pffgh, what the f-...?!" *is both disgusted, horrified and worried he could be charged for possession of Child Pornography*

by Alhadis October 24, 2005

Angel Of Death

1) The title of Josef Mengele, a Nazi doctor responsible for performing the most gruesome and brutal medical experiments in recorded history. Orchestrated numerous grotesque debaucheries to prisoners transported to the Auschwitz concentration camp, selecting them for either labour or extermination, acts of which earned him the title of "Angel of Death".

2) A Slayer song inspired by Josef Mengele's treatment of prisoners during WW2, which happens to be their most famous and well-known song (which says the least of how awesome this fucking song is; if you ever get sick of it, don't let a Slayer fan hear of it, for your own safety). Unfortunately, this song's also used as a crutch by posers claiming to be genuine Slayer fans; when asked about their favourite song, chances are a poser is going to answer "Angel of Death!" A true Slayer fan would follow up by mentioning several other favourites of Slayer's countless awesome works (in this author's opinion, there's only one or two Slayer songs he *doesn't* like; everything else is a brutal masterpiece of Slayer's nearly unmatchable skill).

Angel of Death might be one fuckin' awesome song, but it's by no means the only masterpiece of thrash metal that Slayer have recorded. Songs like "Skeletons of Society", "Crionics", "Tormentor", "Blood Red", "Dead Skin Mask", "Dittohead", "Catalyst", "Death's Head" and "Eyes of the Insane" are just a handful of several kickarse songs that've blown one's ears off as a reminder that metal can never die.

1) Josef Mengele was a sick, twisted cunt who ripped the muscles from prisoner's legs and forced them to walk, set fire to victims and did all sorts of other sickening shit.

2) "Auschwitz, the meaning of pain, the way that I want you to die. Slow death, immense decay, showers that cleanse you of your life"... etc, seriously, if you're a Slayer fan and don't know the lyrics to "Angel of Death", you're an anomaly. ;-)

by Alhadis September 21, 2008

Ozzy Osbourne

Widely (and correctly) considered the Godfather of Heavy Metal. ^^' Friendly, easy goin', hella cool and a great guy to know, nobody plays metal better then Ozzy. ;)

Note that popular belief often attributes Ozzy to being a violent, Church-hating wife-beating alcoholist. Nothing could be further from the truth... Ozzy's a friendly guy who loves and supports his family and fans, and one of the few artists of the heavy metal genre who's modest and easy-goin' enough to not take music too seriously ;) (Example, the "wannabe-Anti Christ" Marilyn Manson XP). Black Sabbath rules!

Ozzy's an awesome guy who kicks the asses of all other artists easy. Forget Metallica, Black Sabbath will forever live on! Yeah! ^_~;

by Alhadis August 21, 2004

Slayer

The darkest, heaviest, most brutal fucking thrash band to have ever struck the face of God's green earth with pure bruality. Capable of pounding out the most coolest, creepiest and most Satanic lyrics that don't actually oversaturate their image to a point of being laughable (see Deicide). Founded by Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman back in the early 80s, their influence upon the thrash movement is undisputed, with albums like "Reign in Blood" and "Seasons in the Abyss" ranking as the most influential and famous thrash albums in record history.

As far as this author's concerned, Metallica don't fucking deserve to be considered the backbone of thrash. Metallica sold out and changed, but Slayer never did. They didn't compromise their sound for fucking anybody, and to this date, they've remained sheer volume and pumelling riffs that totally kick the shit out of all but the heaviest of Death metal.

To date, their most recent album is "Christ Illusion"; another brutal masterpiece that illustrates how well they've stuck to their roots. "Catatonia" has a guitar solo that's to die for. Quite literally if you're ears are too weak to handle the overpowering bad-ass-itude of Slayer's music (and no, that wasn't a real word, so don't bother looking it up on UD).

Metalhead #1: "I went to a Slayer concert the other week."
Metalhead #2: "Shit man, you survive?"
Metalhead #1: "I lost three fingers in a mosh pit, sustained cranial brain damage from being kicked against the floor... loved every fucking minute of it."
Metalhead #2: "Hell yeah. You catch a guitar pick?"
Metalhead #1: "Yep, I'll strum with it after I get feeling back in my fingers."

by Alhadis September 15, 2008