13 definitions by Alfonso T. Watt

A Juice Bag exhibits the same utterly exasperating character flaws as a Douche Bag or a Dirt Bag but usually a bit more effeminate. It usually responds with attitude to the name "Dave".
Wow! That toad Dave put gunpowder in all the ashtrays at that punk kegger in the Cardinal Apartments. Watta Juice Bag!
by Alfonso T. Watt May 11, 2010
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Every possible secretion emanating from a human body is considered a precious bodily fluid. Sweat, blood, menstruative residue, plasma, feces (solid or liquid will work here), ejaculate, urine, bile, phlegm, pus and last but certainly not least...vomit.
That dolt Wilmer Beesley was obsessive compulsive about collecting Precious Bodily Fluids. He particularly enjoyed the specimens he pilfered from various dank and humid dirty public toilets in large train stations.
by Alfonso T. Watt June 5, 2010
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The resulting visual when a large gooey slimy snot is launched in a magnificent trajectory from ones nostrils due to vociferous laughing, sneezing, or crying. The trajectory has been known to reach an apogee of 3 to 4 feet above the launch site. These are especially delicious when they land on someone or something that has a deep fear of this sort of occurrence.
"Cleetus became the life of the party once he sneezed on old Mary Jane Rottencrotch and her pretty pink panties at the mixer and then landed that tremendous snot rocket on her face.
by Alfonso T. Watt December 27, 2011
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A completely irrelevant mope of a douchebag. Cretins possess exceptionally low intelligence and street smarts, are aroused by bathroom humour and above all love to play idiotic practical jokes. A cretin is generally reared in either a rural or suburban setting and therefore lacks many social graces necessary for sexy urban life. A cretin left to it's own devices eventually implodes in on itself. Cretins require excessive amounts of ritalin and/or Flintstones chewable vitamins. Finally they tend to respond to the name Dave.
That fucktard Dave is such a cretin. He put gunpowder in all the ashtrays at the kegger over at the Cardinal Apartments last night. What a douchebag.
by Alfonso T. Watt May 12, 2010
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A whistle lisp is defined by producing a slight whistling noise when pronouncing words beginning with "s" or "sh". Most noticible when conversing with elderly gay men with possible dental or identity issues.
Mr. Herbert ssssssaid that SSSSSweet SSSSSam'sssssss sssssalute wasssssss ssssssloppy and sssssaucy. He sssssent Ssssssam sssssstateside to practicccccccce that sssssssaucy sssssalute. These words all have a whistle lisp.
by Alfonso T. Watt May 16, 2010
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(noun) A piece of excrement. This word is synonomous with and can be used with reference to piles of shit, thick slimy meaty chuds, feces, poo, diharrea, Colon Blow, grunt, coilers or turds.
Dude, when I had to use the toilet at Target there was a huge slimy brownish-red chenery coiled around the bottom of the bowl smiling at me.
by Alfonso T. Watt January 31, 2011
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When a middle aged man in a cheap sport coat and polyester trousers walks by briskly and very stifly, revealing no discernable rhythm or style in an effort not to break the potato chip stuffed deep inside his rectum. This is all an effort to hide the fact he runs like a little school girl.
"Look at Sgt. Joe Friday struttin' a chip like he means business"
by Alfonso T. Watt May 9, 2010
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