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Alfie the Horndog's definitions

Boot Camp

A reality show similar to Survivor that was cancelled when people found out that it was rigged.
They don't even show re-runs of Boot Camp.
by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
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Evelyn Wood

A woman who developed a method for speed reading. Also used as a reference to her popular training method.

The Evelyn Wood speed reading method is a way of reading whole paragraphs at a time, filtering out common words and only look at uncommon words. By only looking at the uncommon words, you get the jist of each paragraph without actually having to read every single word in it.
Oh great! I was just glancing at a review for the movie we were going to see tonight and my Evelyn Wood training kicked in and now it's spoiled for me. So... why don't we just stay in bed instead?
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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chantese jazz

A light, easy listening form of vocal jazz. Known as chantese because the words are short, descriptive, poetic and sometime repetative. Usually sung by a sexy single female lead.
Female nightclub singers are often classified as chantese jazz artists.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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Jesus Christ

The name Bill Cosby thought was his growing up. He thought his brothers name was "God Dammit".

According to Cosby's classic stand-up routine, his father would always yell at him and his brother.

Something like: "Jesus Christ, it's raining, get in here. God Dammit, you get in here too.".

But then one day he was playing in the yard alone and his father called him: "God Dammit, quit making such a racket!" Bill just stood there looking around for his brother. "God Dammit didn't you hear me?" yelled his father to which Bill replied, "But dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"
Jesus Christ, the Simpsons are killing us in the ratings! God Dammit we're being forced into cancellation because of a stupid cartoon!
by Alfie The Horndog September 17, 2005
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Captain Kirk smirk

A look of self-satisfaction after just defeating your nemesis. Named after the legendary Captain Kirk.
Me: Everything I tell you is a lie. Now listen carefully.. I'm lying right now...

My last Date (who looks like she could have been a Stepford Wife): Error! Error! Does not compute.

I leave with a big captain kirk smirk as my date, who was acting like a total fucktard by not wanting to have casual sex with me starts emitting sparks and smoke from every orifice in her body.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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squeezebox

Momma has a squeezebox she wears on her chest, when daddy comes home he doesn't get no rest, because they're playing all night. And the music's just right. Momma has a squeezebox and daddy doesn't sleep at night!
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
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carpod

An iPod you keep in your car, most likely attached to an iPod enabled car stereo.

It is only removed from the car in order to add or edit music, videos and the like.
I hooked up my old iPod Video to my Dual car stereo deck 6 months ago and haven't had to remove it yet. It's now officially my carpod.
by Alfie The Horndog April 5, 2009
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