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Alfie the Horndog's definitions

Evelyn Wood

A woman who developed a method for speed reading. Also used as a reference to her popular training method.

The Evelyn Wood speed reading method is a way of reading whole paragraphs at a time, filtering out common words and only look at uncommon words. By only looking at the uncommon words, you get the jist of each paragraph without actually having to read every single word in it.
Oh great! I was just glancing at a review for the movie we were going to see tonight and my Evelyn Wood training kicked in and now it's spoiled for me. So... why don't we just stay in bed instead?
by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006
mugGet the Evelyn Woodmug.

wooley rocket

A pyrotechnically modified water rocket.

To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.

Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.

The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
On the fourth of July I set off my wooley rocket and burned down my neighbors house.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
mugGet the wooley rocketmug.

Internet Cop

Someone who exposes internet abusers, virus developers, hackers and posers. Has a wide variety of tricks at their disposal. Often internet cops are ex-hackers trying to go legit by exposing other hackers, etc.
I have to have three layers of hardware encrypted firewall between my LAN and WAN because of all my technically savy enemies. You see, I used to be internet cop.
by Alfie The Horndog September 4, 2005
mugGet the Internet Copmug.

noggin knocker

Or often called "double noggin knocker", is a combat move used to take out two assailants simultaneously. Not to be confused with a headbutt... this move is performed by taking the heads of two opponents and cracking them together, with little impact upon oneself.

You see this kind of thing alot in tag team style professional wrestling.

This move seems less effective against pacific islanders, as apparently, their heads are harder than most people's.
Bushwacker Bob made a big mistake when he tried performing a double noggin knocker on the Samoan brothers.
by Alfie The Horndog July 16, 2007
mugGet the noggin knockermug.

bombard with high level microwaves

This is what happens to people when you stand on a chair while wiggling your pinky at them.
Rusty the clown stood on a chair and proceeded to bombard with high level microwaves everyone who passed by. Unfortunately he did not realize that the chair seat was contaminated with uranium 235 and he died of radiation poisoning two days later.
by Alfie The Horndog October 18, 2008
mugGet the bombard with high level microwavesmug.

Asgard

Historical protectors of the Nordic realm. Obviously better than the Greek counterparts, since Nordic men as far less gay.
Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great because the Nordic warriors were equipped with better ass-guards.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
mugGet the Asgardmug.

combat coolant

Piss, when it is used by soldiers to cool off overheated weapons.
Mel Gibson used combat coolant to cool off the mortar tubes in the movie We Were Soldiers so he could kill more non-christian vietnamese.
by Alfie The Horndog December 7, 2007
mugGet the combat coolantmug.

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