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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

cancer in california

A material that is labeled as causing cancer in the state of California only.
Guy #1: Why does this epoxy say that it contains a chemical known to cause cancer in California?

Guy #2: Because only Californians would try to smoke it!
by Alfie The Horndog June 18, 2008
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steelwool

Long continuous shaving of steel, iron or copper that is wrapped up in balls and sold in hardware stores.

Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.

The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.
Steelwool is very useful for electrically lighting fuses from a safe distance.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
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homophobe

Someone who wears an asgard to protect their virgin cheeks.
Although Thor insisted he wasn't a homophobe, he never failed to wear his asgard during battle.
by Alfie The Horndog March 24, 2007
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Amish

Owners of most of the rendering plants used to make pet food. They are all multi-millionaires, but you wouldn't know it to look at them.
Samuel Stolfutz made over 80 million last year in a deal with Purina. Man... I wish I was Amish!
by Alfie The Horndog January 31, 2008
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Thor

Nordic god of thunder. He's always drinking mead. Carries a hammer that only he can lift. I mean not even the Hulk can lift his hammer.

He was one of the main characters in Dougas Adams novel, The Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul.

His one flaw is that he is a bit homophobic and always wears an asgard when he is around Greeks... especially Hercules.
Thor was flying around one day when he saw this "girl". He appraoched her under the guise of a human and he started having anal sex with her. After seven days of this, Thor removed his human disguise and revealed himself as the god of thunder and proudly announced "I AM THOR!".

The girl then revealed that she was actually a bloke and told him "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can't thit". Needless to say that ever since that day Thor has been a bit of a homophobe.
by Alfie The Horndog March 28, 2007
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wooley rocket

A pyrotechnically modified water rocket.

To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.

Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.

The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
On the fourth of July I set off my wooley rocket and burned down my neighbors house.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
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21 Grams

About 1/20th of a pound. This is the amount of weight you lose the instant you die. Some say it's the weight of your spirit or soul.
She was so sweet before she passed away. Heaven gained another 21 Grams of sugar.
by Alfie The Horndog September 22, 2005
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