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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

Hong Kong dollar

The Hong Kong dollar coin is exactly the same size and weight as the American dollar coin, but the exchange rate makes it worth about 16 cents.

People can use the Hong Kong dollar coin in vending machines that accept American dollar coins! But you can get a $1.25 20 oz soda for about 32 cents and get 75 cents back!

I'm thinking of many money making schemes right now!!
I wonder if it's a federal offense to use the Hong Kong Dollar in a vending machine?
by Alfie The Horndog October 13, 2005
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Michael Moore

A filmmaker who is the absoute master at making gullible people think the way he does.
Brainless Chump: Did you see that movie about George Bush by Michael Moore? Did you know that George Bush was personally responsible for 911. You better vote Democrat.

Me: Uh, you know those same terrorists tried to blow up the World Trade Center during the Clinton administration right? And that Clinton did absolutely nothing about it?
by Alfie The Horndog October 17, 2005
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neil diamond

A singer who was tampled to death at a recent Paul Simon concert. Later, Weird Al wrote a parody of the tragedy.
I've got neil diamond on the soles of my shoes.
by Alfie The Horndog April 22, 2008
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21 Grams

About 1/20th of a pound. This is the amount of weight you lose the instant you die. Some say it's the weight of your spirit or soul.
She was so sweet before she passed away. Heaven gained another 21 Grams of sugar.
by Alfie The Horndog September 22, 2005
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American Idol

It's rigged. I mean think about it... over 60,000 people supposedly try out for it and yet they have so much early footage of people who make it to the top 12...

And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...

Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.

In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.

Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
GF: Hey, isn't American Idol is on...
ME: Who cares? Its as rigged as Boot Camp or Judge Judy.
by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
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Paul Simon

Singer, songwriter, formally of Simon and Garfunkle. Had a huge string of folksy hit songs spanning more than four decades. Wrote most of the songs for the movie "The Graduate".

He's really short... almost like a midget.
Paul Simon songs:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" (1975)
"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" (1966)
"Ace In The Hole" (1979)
"All Around The World Or The Myth Of Fingerprints" (1986)
"America" (1968)
"American Tune" (1973)
"Anna Belle" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"April Come She Will" (1965)
"Armistice Day" (1972)
"At The Zoo" (1966)
"Baby Driver" (1968)
"The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine" (1966)
"Bleecker Street" (1963)
"Blessed" (1965)
"Bookends" (1968)
"Born At The Right Time" (1990)
"The Boxer" (1968)
"The Boy In The Bubble" (1986)
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" (1969)
"Carlos Dominguez" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Cards Of Love" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cars Are Cars" (1983)
"Cecilia" (1969)
"A Church Is Burning" (1965)
"Citizen Of The Planet" (1983)
"Cloudy" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Congratulations" (1971)
"Crazy Love, Vol. II" (1986)
"Cry, Little Boy, Cry" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cuba Si, Nixon No" (1969)
"Dancin' Wild" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"The Dangling Conversation" (1966)
"Darling Lorraine" (2000)
"Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes" (1986)
"Dori Anne" (as Jerry Landis, with David Winters and J. Kay, 1963)
"Duncan" (1972)
"El Cóndor Pasa (If I Could)" (English lyric only, 1969)
"Everything Put Together Falls Apart" (1972)
"Express Train" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Fakin' It" (1967)
"Father And Daughter" (2006)
"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall" (1965)
"For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" (1966)
"Get Up And Do The Wobble" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Girl For Me" (with Art Garfunkel, 1955)
"God Bless The Absentee" (1980)
"Gone At Last" (1975)
"Graceland" (1986)
"Gumboots" (1986)
"A Hazy Shade Of Winter" (1966)
"He Was My Brother" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Hearts And Bones" (1983)
"Hey, Schoolgirl" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"Homeless" (1986)
"Homeward Bound" (1965)
"How The Heart Approaches What It Yearns" (1980)
"I Am A Rock" (1965)
"I Don't Believe Them" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"I Know What I Know" (1986)
"I Wish You Could Be Here" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Jonah" (1980)
"Just A Boy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"Kathy's Song" (1965)
"Keep The Customer Satisfied" (1970)
"Kodachrome" (1973)
"The Late, Great, Johnny Ace" (1981)
"Late In The Evening" (1980)
"Learn How To Fall" (1972)
"Leaves That Are Green" (1965)
"Lisa" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Lone Teen Ranger" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Loneliness" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"Long, Long Day" (1980)
"Loves Me Like A Rock" (1973)
"Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard" (1971)
"A Most Peculiar Man" (1965)
"Mother And Child Reunion" (1972)
"Motorcycle" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"Mrs. Robinson" (1967)
"My Little Town" (1975)
"Night Game" (1975)
"Nobody" (1980)
"Noise" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Oh, Marion" (1980)
"Old Friends" (1968)
"One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" (1973)
"One-Trick Pony" (1979)
"The Only Living Boy In New York" (1969)
"Our Song" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Papa Hobo" (1972)
"Paranoia Blues" (1972)
"Patterns" (1965)
"Peace Like A River" (1972)
"Play Me A Sad Song" (1961)
"A Poem On The Underground Wall" (1966)
"(Pretty Baby) Don't Say Goodbye" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Punky's Dilemma" (1967)
"Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War" (1983)
"Richard Cory" (1965)
"Run That Body Down" (1972)
"Shy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"The Side Of A Hill" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"A Simple Desultory Philippic" (various subtitles, 1965 and 1966)
"Slip Slidin' Away" (1977)
"So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" (1970)
"Soft Parachutes" (1981)
"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" (1964 and 1965)
"Something So Right" (1973)
"Song For The Asking" (1969)
"The Sounds Of Silence" (1964)
"Sparrow" (1964)
"Spirit Voices" (1990)
"St. Judy's Comet" (1973)
"Still Crazy After All These Years" (1975)
"Stranded In A Limousine" (1977)
"Take Me To The Mardi Gras" (1972)
"That's Where I Belong" (2000)
"That's Why God Made The Movies" (1980)
"That Was Your Mother" (1986)
"The Teacher" (2000)
"Teen Age Fool" (1958)
"Tenderness" (1973)
"That's My Story" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Think Too Much" (1983)
"Train In The Distance" (1983)
"Was A Sunny Day" (1973)
"Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." (1964)
"We've Got A Groovey Thing Goin'" (1965)
"Why Do You Live In The Northeast" (2005)
"Why Don't You Write Me" (1969)
"Wild Flower" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"You Can Call Me Al" (1986)
"You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies" (1966)
by Alfie The Horndog April 22, 2008
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partial abortion

A type of abortion where the living baby is taken partly out of the womb before it is legally killed by the deliverer. Basically partial abortions allow insane women to change their mind even at the last second before it officially becomes murder.
I didn't vote for John Kerry because he supports partial abortions.
by Alfie The Horndog August 7, 2005
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