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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

Charlie Wilson

Real-life American congressman from the movie "Charlie Wilson's War".

Shadily acquired over a billion dollars of American capital in order to help Osama Bin Laden build his terrorist organization.
by Alfie The Horndog May 8, 2008
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The Universe

Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.

The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.

I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....

God #1: So how is The Universe going?

God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.

I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?

God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!

I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.

God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
by Alfie The Horndog April 4, 2006
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jobs

In professional wrestling, someone who deliberately loses to another wrestler. A "jobber" is someone who almost always loses to other wrestlers.
It was a sad day for hulkamaniacs everywhere when Hulk Hogan jobbed to Goldberg.
by Alfie The Horndog September 3, 2005
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moon dragon

A slang term for a bald chick. Originated from a Marvel comic book heroine by the same name.
That girl is 40DD-22-36. Who gives a shit if she's a moon dragon?
by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005
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Hong Kong dollar

The Hong Kong dollar coin is exactly the same size and weight as the American dollar coin, but the exchange rate makes it worth about 16 cents.

People can use the Hong Kong dollar coin in vending machines that accept American dollar coins! But you can get a $1.25 20 oz soda for about 32 cents and get 75 cents back!

I'm thinking of many money making schemes right now!!
I wonder if it's a federal offense to use the Hong Kong Dollar in a vending machine?
by Alfie The Horndog October 13, 2005
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Internet Cop

Someone who exposes internet abusers, virus developers, hackers and posers. Has a wide variety of tricks at their disposal. Often internet cops are ex-hackers trying to go legit by exposing other hackers, etc.
I have to have three layers of hardware encrypted firewall between my LAN and WAN because of all my technically savy enemies. You see, I used to be internet cop.
by Alfie The Horndog September 4, 2005
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bombard with high level microwaves

This is what happens to people when you stand on a chair while wiggling your pinky at them.
Rusty the clown stood on a chair and proceeded to bombard with high level microwaves everyone who passed by. Unfortunately he did not realize that the chair seat was contaminated with uranium 235 and he died of radiation poisoning two days later.
by Alfie The Horndog October 18, 2008
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