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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

wooley rocket

A pyrotechnically modified water rocket.

To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.

Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.

The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
On the fourth of July I set off my wooley rocket and burned down my neighbors house.
by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
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moondog

The nickname of an obese professional wrestler in the Pacific Northwest. Famous for spitting high into the air and catching the loogey in his mouth.
Moondog Maretti jobs to just about anybody.
by Alfie The Horndog September 3, 2005
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Scooby Doo

Cartoon mystery TV show for kids. The "gang" travel around in a colorfully painted van called "The Mystery Machine" solving puzzles.

The gang consist of a talking dog named Scooby Doo, a hippy named Shaggy, a short brainiac named Thelma and two others whose names escape me.

There was also an annoying puppy introduced into the series named "Scrappy Doo", evidentally placed there to try to extend the target audience to toddlers.

As a young boy I figured out early on that nine times out of ten the bad guy was the first person the gang met.

The cartoon were made into two partly non-animated movies. The first one featured the great Rowan Atkinson.
Me: Oh I see you're watching Scooby Doo. I'll bet the bad guy is the first person they met.

My Sister: No way. The first person they met was a cop.

At the end of the show:

Me: See... I told you it was the cop!
by Alfie The Horndog April 12, 2007
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cancer in california

A material that is labeled as causing cancer in the state of California only.
Guy #1: Why does this epoxy say that it contains a chemical known to cause cancer in California?

Guy #2: Because only Californians would try to smoke it!
by Alfie The Horndog June 18, 2008
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garage

Ze terrorists.. zay give me ze humm vee taken from ze american troops, but zhes so beeg zhe does not fit in ze garage.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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ho

A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room.
by Alfie The Horndog August 7, 2005
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Paul Simon

Singer, songwriter, formally of Simon and Garfunkle. Had a huge string of folksy hit songs spanning more than four decades. Wrote most of the songs for the movie "The Graduate".

He's really short... almost like a midget.
Paul Simon songs:

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" (1975)
"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" (1966)
"Ace In The Hole" (1979)
"All Around The World Or The Myth Of Fingerprints" (1986)
"America" (1968)
"American Tune" (1973)
"Anna Belle" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"April Come She Will" (1965)
"Armistice Day" (1972)
"At The Zoo" (1966)
"Baby Driver" (1968)
"The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine" (1966)
"Bleecker Street" (1963)
"Blessed" (1965)
"Bookends" (1968)
"Born At The Right Time" (1990)
"The Boxer" (1968)
"The Boy In The Bubble" (1986)
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" (1969)
"Carlos Dominguez" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Cards Of Love" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cars Are Cars" (1983)
"Cecilia" (1969)
"A Church Is Burning" (1965)
"Citizen Of The Planet" (1983)
"Cloudy" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Congratulations" (1971)
"Crazy Love, Vol. II" (1986)
"Cry, Little Boy, Cry" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cuba Si, Nixon No" (1969)
"Dancin' Wild" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"The Dangling Conversation" (1966)
"Darling Lorraine" (2000)
"Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes" (1986)
"Dori Anne" (as Jerry Landis, with David Winters and J. Kay, 1963)
"Duncan" (1972)
"El Cóndor Pasa (If I Could)" (English lyric only, 1969)
"Everything Put Together Falls Apart" (1972)
"Express Train" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Fakin' It" (1967)
"Father And Daughter" (2006)
"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall" (1965)
"For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" (1966)
"Get Up And Do The Wobble" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Girl For Me" (with Art Garfunkel, 1955)
"God Bless The Absentee" (1980)
"Gone At Last" (1975)
"Graceland" (1986)
"Gumboots" (1986)
"A Hazy Shade Of Winter" (1966)
"He Was My Brother" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Hearts And Bones" (1983)
"Hey, Schoolgirl" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"Homeless" (1986)
"Homeward Bound" (1965)
"How The Heart Approaches What It Yearns" (1980)
"I Am A Rock" (1965)
"I Don't Believe Them" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"I Know What I Know" (1986)
"I Wish You Could Be Here" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Jonah" (1980)
"Just A Boy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"Kathy's Song" (1965)
"Keep The Customer Satisfied" (1970)
"Kodachrome" (1973)
"The Late, Great, Johnny Ace" (1981)
"Late In The Evening" (1980)
"Learn How To Fall" (1972)
"Leaves That Are Green" (1965)
"Lisa" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Lone Teen Ranger" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Loneliness" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"Long, Long Day" (1980)
"Loves Me Like A Rock" (1973)
"Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard" (1971)
"A Most Peculiar Man" (1965)
"Mother And Child Reunion" (1972)
"Motorcycle" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"Mrs. Robinson" (1967)
"My Little Town" (1975)
"Night Game" (1975)
"Nobody" (1980)
"Noise" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Oh, Marion" (1980)
"Old Friends" (1968)
"One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" (1973)
"One-Trick Pony" (1979)
"The Only Living Boy In New York" (1969)
"Our Song" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Papa Hobo" (1972)
"Paranoia Blues" (1972)
"Patterns" (1965)
"Peace Like A River" (1972)
"Play Me A Sad Song" (1961)
"A Poem On The Underground Wall" (1966)
"(Pretty Baby) Don't Say Goodbye" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Punky's Dilemma" (1967)
"Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War" (1983)
"Richard Cory" (1965)
"Run That Body Down" (1972)
"Shy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"The Side Of A Hill" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"A Simple Desultory Philippic" (various subtitles, 1965 and 1966)
"Slip Slidin' Away" (1977)
"So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" (1970)
"Soft Parachutes" (1981)
"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" (1964 and 1965)
"Something So Right" (1973)
"Song For The Asking" (1969)
"The Sounds Of Silence" (1964)
"Sparrow" (1964)
"Spirit Voices" (1990)
"St. Judy's Comet" (1973)
"Still Crazy After All These Years" (1975)
"Stranded In A Limousine" (1977)
"Take Me To The Mardi Gras" (1972)
"That's Where I Belong" (2000)
"That's Why God Made The Movies" (1980)
"That Was Your Mother" (1986)
"The Teacher" (2000)
"Teen Age Fool" (1958)
"Tenderness" (1973)
"That's My Story" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Think Too Much" (1983)
"Train In The Distance" (1983)
"Was A Sunny Day" (1973)
"Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." (1964)
"We've Got A Groovey Thing Goin'" (1965)
"Why Do You Live In The Northeast" (2005)
"Why Don't You Write Me" (1969)
"Wild Flower" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"You Can Call Me Al" (1986)
"You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies" (1966)
by Alfie The Horndog April 22, 2008
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