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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

chantese jazz

A light, easy listening form of vocal jazz. Known as chantese because the words are short, descriptive, poetic and sometime repetative. Usually sung by a sexy single female lead.
Female nightclub singers are often classified as chantese jazz artists.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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Asgard

Historical protectors of the Nordic realm. Obviously better than the Greek counterparts, since Nordic men as far less gay.
Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great because the Nordic warriors were equipped with better ass-guards.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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bombard with high level microwaves

This is what happens to people when you stand on a chair while wiggling your pinky at them.
Rusty the clown stood on a chair and proceeded to bombard with high level microwaves everyone who passed by. Unfortunately he did not realize that the chair seat was contaminated with uranium 235 and he died of radiation poisoning two days later.
by Alfie The Horndog October 18, 2008
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The Universe

Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.

The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.

I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....

God #1: So how is The Universe going?

God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.

I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?

God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!

I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.

God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
by Alfie The Horndog April 4, 2006
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420

Code for homicide. From CSI, but is the actual police code used by the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.
419 = Dead Body
419A = Drowned Person
420 = Homicide
420A = Murder/Non-negligent homicide
420B = Manslaughter
420Z = Attempted homicide
421 = Sick or injured
421A = Mentally ill person
422 = Sick or injured Officer
by Alfie The Horndog July 5, 2007
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Sims

Stupid, pointless computer game. Enjoyed only by useless underachievers with "god" complexes. Watching an ant farm with a magnifying glass is more entertaining.
Stupid Sims Gamer: I'm so excited now that I got the latest expansion pack for the Sims!!

Me: You are one a pathetic loser.
by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005
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Charlie Wilson

Real-life American congressman from the movie "Charlie Wilson's War".

Shadily acquired over a billion dollars of American capital in order to help Osama Bin Laden build his terrorist organization.
by Alfie The Horndog May 8, 2008
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