Alex Quantashassle's definitions

guarantee

A guarantee is the inverse of trust.

Rhys Muldoon: "I trust Amanda Vanstone. If I left her alone in a room with a bucket of fried chicken, I'd trust her to eat it up. I'd also trust her to then launch a national inquiry into who ate the chicken."

by Alex Quantashassle June 5, 2005

problems

To have problems is to have a bad case of intestinal gas.

"Phew! Somebody in here has got problems!"

by Alex Quantashassle April 20, 2005

ensures

Things that you have acquired to stop certain things from happening. E.g. insurance prevents bankruptcy. Used by Western Australian yuppies.

"Right, so we're going skydiving. Got all the ensures you need?"

by Alex Quantashassle April 21, 2005

anal cavity opening

A polite way of saying 'arsehole'.

"Joe, you're cheating with my wife! You anal cavity opening!"

by Alex Quantashassle April 15, 2005

directories

Noun. Army slang for the paths of descent upon an enemy.

"Roger Wilco, Samson. Our directory is oh-5-7-6-3-1-3-3-7. Would-you-like-to go grab a coffee after the show?"

by Alex Quantashassle April 21, 2005

apeth

Noun. A pet name for a silly person. A shortening of daft apeth. Apeth, derived from haypneeworth (half a penny's worth) but pronounced ha'p'orth. (British)

"Oh, Jake. You're such an apeth when it comes to patching trousers!"

by Alex Quantashassle April 11, 2005

ballsed-up

Adj. Ruined, in a mess.

"Oh, aye! Ain't we in a shite state."
"Indeed. Us Irish hombres are all ballsed-up."

by Alex Quantashassle June 5, 2005