Alex Quantashassle's definitions

double-alaskan-semi-cockadoodle-doo-rainstorm

The extreme & bizarre sexual act, where your girlfriend takes a good mouthful, and implodes, spraying semen-like dandruff everywhere. She then pulls on her nipples, and ties a noose and your neck with them, virtually hanging you. She them pulls her legs around your neck, reviving you. She then wrenches her thighs back, exploding pubic hair up your nostril. She then leans back and ends the whole thing off by making a limmerick about Amanda Vanstone and a giant lemon. If you haven't reached some form of orgasm by now, you're impotent.

"Jesus-pleesus!"
"Yeah, that's what they all say."

by Alex Quantashassle June 1, 2005

literary

Another word for a high school english teacher, or a university humanties professor. Used commonly amongst politcians, in order to segment them as a minority group.

John Howard: "I'm rather - acquainted with the - literaries at the - University of - Canberra."

Kim Beazely: "I sincerely doubt that, prime minister, as there is no longer a University of Canberra since you proposed the bill in question last month!"

John Howard: "......."

Kim Beazely: "I'm sorry prime minister? What was that?"

John Howard: "......this man is - trying to corrupt me!"

Kim Beazely: "Oh, god!"

by Alex Quantashassle June 7, 2005

opening

Bizarre slang for a girl's private parts.

"HEY GIRL!"
"Uhhh... What?"
"I give ya twenty if ya show me yah opening?"

by Alex Quantashassle June 1, 2005

anytime

The word that dumb people say to people they just met after they ask: "When can I ring you?" not even thinking that these guys could be dangerous and you're just opening yourself up to them like the giblees.

"Hey soft-breasted tender little maiden of demon worship, when may I next contact you using my telephone device?"
"Oh, anytime."

by Alex Quantashassle June 5, 2005

moon midget

A short guy whoes always high.

"Why hello there, Tommy!"
"You moon midget!"

by Alex Quantashassle June 3, 2005

backie

Noun. A pillion ride on a bicycle.

British in origin. Very dangerous, don't let your kids do it.

"Were you boys doing backies on David's bike?!"
"No mum, I swear!..... did you say 'bike' or 'dyke'?"

by Alex Quantashassle August 27, 2005

Barstardhole

A merging of the two terms 'barstard' and 'arsehole'. If someone calls you a barstardhole, then you got em so angry that they're stammering.

"You liar, you-you-you... barstardhole!"

by Alex Quantashassle February 12, 2005