Al Benedict's definitions

<yawn>

Internet speak for "Oh shit. I just lost the argument."

Bob: So that's why your argument makes no sense.
Bill: <yawn> Whatever, dude.
Bob: Victory is mine.

by Al Benedict June 23, 2012

Spamburst

When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.

I probably got your message. It just got caught in a spamburst yesterday.

by Al Benedict October 1, 2008

winger

Derogatory term for someone politically far to either the right or left. Implies an unwillingness to evaluate issues one at a time.

If there's one thing wingers can unite around, it's their hatred of moderates.

I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.

by Al Benedict July 2, 2024

Dimes will get you dollars

Glib way of saying "There is a high probability that..." It doesn't make too much sense if you think about the way gambling odds work, but I didn't create it; I just report it.

Dimes will get you dollars that his car will break down before he gets there.

Dimes will get you dollars that she doesn't really want to change jobs.

by Al Benedict June 30, 2021

Prefix Rock

In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".

I'm so sick of Prefix Rock. Gimme some of the real stuff, like Springsteen!

by Al Benedict April 4, 2008

Henny Youngman solution

Telling someone that the solution to a problem is to simply not do anything that exposes the flaw that causes the problem. From the old Henny Youngman joke: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" "Don't do that." Usually, but not always, associated with computers.

"The program crashes when I try to print!"
"Don't try to print."
"Do you have a real solution or just a Henny Youngman solution?"

by Al Benedict January 4, 2008

patriot bruise

A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).

Red, white and blue. Get it?

A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.

"I got a patriot bruise on my calf playing Ralph last weekend".
"Holy crap. So you did."

by Al Benedict October 18, 2020