Al Benedict's definitions

Spamburst

When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.

I probably got your message. It just got caught in a spamburst yesterday.

by Al Benedict October 1, 2008

Scottish Food

Macdonalds food for when you want to avoid admitting you ate at Macdonalds.

Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.

by Al Benedict July 29, 2013

Shrubbery

An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.

Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."

Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"

by Al Benedict June 28, 2013

misspelt

A shibboleth that people that believe that the English language should be static use to find each other.

Kind of like a secret fraternity handshake.

Q: "What is the correct way to say a word is not spelled properly?"

A: "Oh god. You're one of those 'misspelt' dumbasses, aren't you? Shoo! The thumbs down button is up and to the right."

by Al Benedict August 21, 2011

implosive

Describes someone who reacts to criticism by becoming quiet and withdrawn. As opposed to explosive, which means that they "explode" into anger.

Usually introverts are implosive and extroverts are explosive, but neither of those are a rule.

Bob: You made a mistake over here.
Bill: (Silence)
Bob: Feeling implosive today, are we?

by Al Benedict June 15, 2011

tauntbary

A music library (iTunes or otherwise) that's visible to your roommates or coworkers, but due to firewalls or DRM restrictions, contains nothing that can be played.

Bob: Bill just shared his iTunes library. Let's take a look.

Bob: Dammit. Another tauntbary.

by Al Benedict December 20, 2012

winger

Derogatory term for someone politically far to either the right or left. Implies an unwillingness to evaluate issues one at a time.

If there's one thing wingers can unite around, it's their hatred of moderates.

I'm anti rent control, pro gun control, pro abortion and think welfare should be tightened. Something for every winger to hate on.

by Al Benedict July 2, 2024