AKACroatalin's definitions

Gasper

British Army slang for a cigarette believed to date from around the time of the Second Boer War 1899 – 1902. A gasper was a high tar cigarette, without any sort of filter tip, such as Woodbine or Capstan. They got the name because smoking caused the troops to gasp for breath when engaged in strenuous exercise.

“I'd just got clipped by a Boer bullet, nuffin' serious, so Jack gimme a gasper while he put a dressing on it.”

by AKACroatalin November 21, 2016

Mmuu Mmuu

Originally the name of a baggy, shapeless dress from Hawaii, now often applied to malcolms or other baggy shapeless people.

“That Malcolm is a right Mmuu Mmuu!”
“Shouldn’t that be the other way around?”

by AKACroatalin November 10, 2016

V.I.Poo

A product made by Reckitt Benckiser primarily for the American market. It consists of a spray which is directed into the toilet bowl, before defecation, which prevents obnoxious odours contaminating the atmosphere. It is set to become the new must have for every brain dead silly bitch suffering from acute princess syndrome as she will now be able to convince herself that, when she drops her devil’s dumplings into the bowl, her shit don’t stink.

V.I.Poo must have been made with Lily Allen or Kim Kardashian in mind

by AKACroatalin March 17, 2017

Vicious

It’s an adjective which can be used in a number of different ways:
1. Addicted to or characterised by vice; grossly immoral; depraved; profligate.
2. Given or readily disposed to evil.
3. Reprehensible; blameworthy; wrong.
4. Spiteful; malicious.
5. Unpleasantly severe.
6. Characterised or marred by faults or defects; faulty; unsound; unfit for purpose.
7. Savage; ferocious.

1 A vicious life.
2 A vicious criminal.
3 A vicious deception.
4 Vicious gossip; a vicious attack.
5 A vicious headache.
6 Vicious reasoning.
7 They all feared his vicious temper.

by AKACroatalin December 9, 2016

Fuck Right Off

It still means fuck off, but it’s a fuck off on steroids with its fists clenched, eyes staring and a snarl on its lips. But that’s not the end of it, you can be told to “ most definitely fuck right off”, where in addition to staring and snarling with its fists clenched sweating and trembling with anticipation for the tiny trigger that will let it rip your head off and shit down your neck. There are numerous other variations until you are told to “most fucking definitely fucking well fuck right fucking off”. If this sound incoherent it’s because it is; you are now faced with a berserk, ninja vampire with titanium talons and diamond teeth who is a hairsbreadth away from howling chaos and the total destruction of you, your family and all your ancestors so that you become not even a memory.

If anyone rejects this definition, they can fuck right off.

by AKACroatalin April 26, 2015

Don’t Give A Shit

It means that you are not interested in or worried about something or someone; that you place no value on something, an event or a person; that you do not care and are uninterested. It means that you place less value on it than you do on a turd, says it all really.

“Malcolm had a hissy fit when he found out he wasn’t invited to your birthday bash.”
“I don’t give a shit.”

by AKACroatalin June 15, 2017

Malcolm’s Law

Very similar to Murphy’s Law or Sod’s Law, but with one important difference. Instead of “if something can go wrong it will do”, it now becomes ”with a Malcolm on the project it won’t just go wrong, but it will go wrong in the worst possible way.” See also Finagle’s Law.

“It’s a total disaster; there is no way that it could possibly have happened!”
“With that Heale Malcolm involved what did you expect? It’s Malcolm’s Law, mate.”

by AKACroatalin August 17, 2016