AKACroatalin's definitions

Monkey Fucking

Adjective used to refer to a person usually male who will have sex with any woman. Someone who is so indiscriminate that they would fuck a female monkey. Eventually its use was broadened so that it became used to describe anyone whose habits are unpleasant, unsavoury or just plain weird.

"Malcolm, you are, without doubt, the most useless cunt eyed, shit-licking, monkey fucking, piss-brained, ass kissing, fuck witted WOSP in the world!"

by AKACroatalin March 28, 2015

Oonch Fancier

British slang from the 1950s thought to have originated in East Anglia and meaning a lesbian. The word oonch is thought to have derived from the dialect pronunciation of 'conch' and was used as a slang name for the vagina due to the resemblance of the opening of the female genitalia to the opening of a conch shell. Thus a lesbian became an oonch fancier.

"Ah! I wouldn't mind a bit of that!"
"Forget it boy! She's an oonch fancier."

by AKACroatalin April 10, 2015

Kweef

To release gas through the penis. WARNING – This may indicate a potentially life threatening medical condition. A person suffering from this may have a fistula, you can read up on this on the internet, but this case it means that there is a hole between the prostate and rectum. You must get treatment for this, see your doctor. If there is any faecal discharge go to A & E or the Emergency Room at your nearest hospital immediately do put this off about your life may be in danger.

Charlie used to kweef a lot and ended up in hospital on life support because he didn’t have the sense to see his doctor.

by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015

Gwenders

Old Cornish slang for the dreadful pins and needles feeling you get in your fingers in cold weather, typically if you’ve been playing in the snow making a snowman.

Jack an’ me ‘ave been out in that snow storm; now us both ‘ave gwenders.

by AKACroatalin December 30, 2016

Invariably

Invariably is an adverb which means each time or upon every occasion. If you see a particular person that you loathe and despise coming towards you and you always get that sinking feeling in your stomach, then that is invariably what happens. You know that every time you see them they’ll have that shit-eating grin on their face that each time you see it makes you feel sick, then that is invariably what happens as well. You know too, because it happens every time that, without even saying “Hello”, they’ll start dishing the dirt on somebody because that is what invariably happens. I thought a few examples might help to clarify things, but I’m not invariably right.

Politicians invariably distort the truth and avoid giving straight answers.

by AKACroatalin May 14, 2015

Pargeting

This is slang for applying large quantities of make-up to the face or body. It derives from the verb ‘pargeting’ which is to apply a decorative, waterproof plaster to a wall. The finished plaster is also known as pargeting and can be in a variety of colours. So if a woman is piling stuff on her face, eyebrows, eyes, lips, eyelashes or face, she is pargeting.

“Look at that silly moo piling gunk on her face!”
“Yeah, she does so much pargeting she keeps Maybelline in business by herself’”

by AKACroatalin March 20, 2019

Get Ahold Of

This is an American expression which can be used in a number of ways:
1 To obtain an item, by purchase, borrowing or other means;
2 To initiate contact or communicate with a person or persons or an organisation;
3 To understand or appreciate an idea, concept or theory;

The British use the expression get hold of in a similar way.

1 “Can you get ahold of any 2 inch 10 brass screws?”
2 “That cunt Malcolm’s gone off somewhere, I can’t get ahold of him.”
3 “His ideas are so abstruse they’re difficult to get ahold of.”

by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016