AKACroatalin's definitions

Fart Fact 2

Only 1% of your fart actually smells! Even that little SBD you sneaked out that had everyone in the room wondering if the sewage works had broken down, even that was 99% of that was odourless gases like carbon dioxide, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane. The 1% that smells is hydrogen sulphide and when you consider just how bad farts can smell it should come as no surprise that hydrogen sulphide is poisonous. It was even considered as a poison gas during WW1 but was too easily detected (the smell, of course).

“Malcolm’s just caused a major pollution event.”
“Let another one go has he?”
“He must be producing more than 1%, it’s contradicting Fart Fact 2!”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

YFIYFI

Sometimes written as YFIx2 it is an acronym standing for “You Fucked It You Fix It” meaning it’s your mistake so you sort it out. Believed to have originated with the Royal Navy, it is used in the same way as SOYOS or SYSO.

“Malcolm came to me moaning that he’d jammed the photocopier.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing, I just told him YFIYFI.”

by AKACroatalin August 1, 2015

Fart Fact 9

Farts travel quite quickly at around 3.05 meters per second, which is roughly 7 miles per hour, which is faster than your average jogger who moves at about 6 miles per hour.

“If you are jogging and you fart will it overtake you?”
“Yes, Fart Fact 9!”

by AKACroatalin October 29, 2019

Once too often

If you do something once too often it means that you have repeated an action which is bad, stupid or dangerous with an unpleasant end result. So you end up looking a complete wanker, in A & E with serious injuries or someone is totally pissed off with you to an extent which is going to be detrimental to your health and wellbeing.

He’s pissed them off once too often, they’re going to put the fucker on crutches.

by AKACroatalin December 14, 2016

No Shit

US Army slang in common use during the Vietnam War but probably originated during the Korean War. The phrase has multiple meanings which are dependent on the inflexion used and can usually only be determined from the context of the conversation. Four of the commonest are:-
1 No shit? – Are you giving me the facts?
2 No shit! – I am telling you the absolute truth!
3 No shit. – Don’t give me any lies or evasions.
4 No shit? (A question but with an implicit sneer) – Why don’t you carry on stating the obvious, you dumb cocksucker?

“Get your gear together, Charlie’s had his ass kicked and we’ve got 24 hours in Saigon!”
“No shit?”
“No shit!”

by AKACroatalin November 22, 2016

Spite Monkey Attack

This is an action that usually takes place on Spite Monkey Sunday, some little prat decides that they can best get their self-aggrandising definition accepted by making multiple submissions. They then decide to try to improve their chances by voting against any other definition that has been submitted, a typical demonstration of the spite monkey mentality. The end result of their self-centred, immature nastiness is to effectively bring Urban Dictionary to a standstill.

What’s happening on Urban Dictionary, nothing’s moving? Must be a spite monkey attack.

by AKACroatalin August 10, 2016

Clouts

This is quite old slang but still used occasionally in the South-West of England. It derives from cloths or clothes and refers to a woman’s knickers, drawers or panties. It is quite disparaging and is used to described undergarments of the baggy Bridget Jones type or things so foul, tattered and disgusting that they should be classified as a health hazard

Her clouts were so foul, they practically had a life of their own

by AKACroatalin March 21, 2019