AKACroatalin's definitions

Fart Fact 12

Believe it or not your arse can tell whether you are going to fart or crimp off a length! The nerves in your rectum can tell whether it’s gas or solids on the move so if you need to let it go, let it go. There is, however, one exception; when you have a case of the runs, Kansas Quickstep if you prefer, and your crap is more liquid, the nerve endings can become confused which can result in a follow through.

“I know Fart Fact 12 says it’s not possible, but when Malcolm farts, it always smells like he he’s crapped himself.”

by AKACroatalin October 31, 2019

Sycophancy

Sycophancy is self-serving or servile flattery. It probably derives from the Latin sȳcophantia, meaning trickery, and consists of the fawning behaviour of useless two-faced self-seeking toe rag who attempts to win favour by flattering and pandering to the boss. A person who does this is known as a sycophant or more informally as ass-kisser, crawler, toady, lackey, apple polisher, boot licker, fawner, groveler, groveller, or truckler.

Sycophancy, that snotrag Malcolm wrote the book.

by AKACroatalin December 1, 2016

Pettinger

Noun - A maker and seller of pottage, a thick soup or stew. I couldn't believe it either, but I knew someone with that surname, surprisingly, perhaps, I found out what it meant before they did.

A pettinger is a maker and seller of pottage

by AKACroatalin September 30, 2020

Fart Fact 4

A woman's fart smells worse than a man's. Although this may sound difficult to believe it is absolutely true! Although women and men produce the same amount of flatulence, a study conducted by Dr. Michael D Levitt, a gastroenterologist working in Minneapolis, found that women's farts consistently contain significantly greater concentrations of hydrogen sulphide, so they are definitely smellier.

“Are you sure Malcolm isn’t a woman?”
“Fairly sure, why do you ask?”
“Well it’s because of fart fact 4.”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Lich

An old English word meaning a corpse. It is present in a number of English place names, notably Lichfield, and can also be spelled lych or lyke; it derives from the Medieval English “lic” meaning a dead body.

Cuz they wuz afeard of 'un, they 'ad to make a stone coffin for 'is lich.

by AKACroatalin November 30, 2015

AHOYA

AHOYA is an acronym standing for AssHole Of the Year award. It is used to describe those people who get promotions, bonuses and the best jobs because they are the boss’s lick lick and brown nose anyone else in authority. Total Malcolms of a healish nature they are usually below average to poor performers, but their sycophancy ensures that this goes unnoticed.

That arsehole Malcolm’s just got a commendation from the boss.
Yeah, it’s his AHOYA.

by AKACroatalin March 5, 2019

Woke

The word was probably first used in 1942 by J Saunders Redding, but it is possible that it was used before this. When Redding used it, he intended it to mean stay alert for injustices or discrimination. Unfortunately it is now being used as a tool to discriminate against white people, or anything else that the Chattering Classes, Snowflakes or political opportunists find unacceptable.

Stay woke for there are people who will discriminate against you whilst claiming to be woke.

by AKACroatalin August 18, 2020