Definitions by AKACroatalin

Fart Fact 3 

If you eat certain food groups they can make your farts smell worse. When you eat a lot of sulphur rich foods like eggs and meat, your farts will smell worse because met and eggs breaks down to create hydrogen sulphide, which leads to the emission of the so-called rotten-egg fart.

“Malcolm says he only eats meat, eggs and dairy products.”
“No wonder his farts stink so much, he’s living proof of Fart Fact 3”

Fart Fact 3 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 4 

A woman's fart smells worse than a man's. Although this may sound difficult to believe it is absolutely true! Although women and men produce the same amount of flatulence, a study conducted by Dr. Michael D Levitt, a gastroenterologist working in Minneapolis, found that women's farts consistently contain significantly greater concentrations of hydrogen sulphide, so they are definitely smellier.

“Are you sure Malcolm isn’t a woman?”
“Fairly sure, why do you ask?”
“Well it’s because of fart fact 4.”

Fart Fact 4 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 6

If you think you fart a lot, guess again, you probably don't fart as much as you think you do. Often, people go to their doctor complaining of having too much gas, but chances are, they are just imagining it. These people are usually told to go home and keep a record of when they fart. Gastroenterologist Dr Michael Levitt found that most of these people fall within the normal range of farts per day (see fart fact 5) and merely need to be shown that they are normal.

“Malcolm’s letting rip again, one of the exceptions to fart fact 6.”

Fart Fact 6 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 5

Most people fart between 14 to 22 times each day, try counting them if you don’t believe it. So if someone tells you they don't fart, they're probably lying and are specialists in SBDs and are just trying to avoid being blamed for that nasty smell that made everyone’s eyes water.

“I just told Malcolm that he is well above average, but I don’t think he realised I was referring to fart fact 5.”

Fart Fact 5 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 7 

There are lots of fart jokes, but this one holds a record, it’s around 4000 years old and is the oldest known joke. It's an ancient Sumerian proverb that says, "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman who did not fart in her husband's lap.”

Fart fact 7 must have happened to every bloke who has ever had a girl sit on his lap.

Fart Fact 7 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fat-girl 

Slang used by British soldiers during World War 2. A fat-girl is ahooker, whore, tart or prostitute. She may be an enthusiastic amateur, but she takes money for making the beast with two backs.

I was out on the razzle last night and had a knee-trembler in the park shelter with a local fat-girl.

Fat-girl by AKACroatalin May 25, 2019

Unbelieva’brow 

Overpriced eyebrow paint made by L’Oreal aimed at daft female with acute princess syndrome. Made from oil, wax and fuck knows what else, it leaves the silly bitch who uses it looking as if she has skid marks over her eyes.

“I see Kim is using unbelieva’brow.”
“With the amount of pargeting she does, how can you tell?”

Unbelieva’brow by AKACroatalin April 15, 2019