AKACroatalin's definitions

Cock Happy

This expression can be used to describe anyone, male, female or transgender. When applied to a male it usually means that he is a monkey fucking idiot who thinks only about sex and is only happy when he is using his cock and will use it on any female even the most minging munter imaginable. When applied to a female the implication is that she is a nymphomaniac and is only happy when she has a cock, any cock, even that of a monkey fucking idiot inside her. With transgender either or both definitions could apply.

Malcolm would like to be cock happy, but he washed it for the first time and it shrank to a winky.

by AKACroatalin December 29, 2016

Untoward

Untoward has a number of different meanings, three of the commonest uses are as follows:-

1 Unexpected and inconvenient;
2 Inappropriate, improper or unseemly;
3 Unfavourable or adverse;

1 The picnic was interrupted by an untoward shower of rain;
2 Malcolm’s untoward advances were rewarded with a kick in the nuts;
3 Some prescription drugs have untoward side effects;

by AKACroatalin October 24, 2016

Traffic Calming Measure

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.

I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016

Dooberry

A mild slang name for a penis, supposedly less offensive that cock, prick, or dick, it does not have the fecal connotations of dingleberry but is used to describe the penis in much the same circumstances by much the same people. In addition it can also be used as a mildly disparaging term for a person who has exasperated you by doing something atypically stupid.

"I had to rush like hell to get here on time. I was halfway here when I remembered I'd left the contract in my desk at home and had to go back for them, I felt like a right dooberry."

by AKACroatalin March 16, 2015

Pongoes

British slang dating from the mid to late nineteenth century, meaning soldiers. Soldiers were not popular at this time as Kipling’s poem Tommy shows (Barrack Room Ballads 1892). The word itself stems from expressions used by comedians in theatres and music halls to get a cheap laugh. The two that are most commonly quoted are "where the army goes the pong goes", or “when the wind blows the pong goes”, pong meaning smell. This quickly became pongoes meaning soldiers plural and pongo meaning an individual. Another possible explanation is that the soldiers were being likened to a large, hairy, smelly ape called a pongo. The expression is still in use today although not common, confined mainly to those who saw service in World War II or Korea (very few now) or who did National Service in Britain while this was still compulsory.

Ambulance chasing lawyers, seeking compensation for terrorists, still see soldiers as pongoes.

by AKACroatalin September 9, 2016

Coprolite

Coprolite is a noun meaning fossilised animal faeces. The word literally means “dung stone” and comes from the Greek kopros (dung) and lithikos (stone). Usually coprolites are animal manure and, between 1860 and 1890, were mined commercially in Cambridgeshire England and processed to be used as a fertiliser. When you think of it, it’s not that much of a surprise, after all it is fossilised shit. What is also not too surprising is that the word has also come to describe a person who is old, set in their ways and a thoroughly disagreeable arsehole as well. So if you have a boss, teacher or acquaintance who fits that description, congratulations, you know a coprolite.

It’s only Malcolm’s age that stops him being a complete coprolite.

by AKACroatalin September 6, 2016

WOSP

A commonly used British acronym originating in London (there are so many of them there) and standing for Waste Of Space Prick, Prat or Pillock. It is not the same as WASP, although they can be WOSPs as well but is applied to someone who is so monumentally stupid that they don't even realise they're stupid.

“I asked Malcolm if he knew he was a real WOSP. He told me he didn’t have any religious faith.”
“Point proven, he’s a WOSP alright.”

by AKACroatalin February 21, 2017