Definitions by AKACroatalin
Fart Fact 12
Believe it or not your arse can tell whether you are going to fart or crimp off a length! The nerves in your rectum can tell whether it’s gas or solids on the move so if you need to let it go, let it go. There is, however, one exception; when you have a case of the runs, Kansas Quickstep if you prefer, and your crap is more liquid, the nerve endings can become confused which can result in a follow through.
“I know Fart Fact 12 says it’s not possible, but when Malcolm farts, it always smells like he he’s crapped himself.”
Fart Fact 12 by AKACroatalin October 31, 2019
Fart Fact 11
This is a fact unlike most of the stuff submitted by brain dead retards. Because of the food they eat vegetarians fart more than non-vegetarians! Apparently, it's because much of the food they eat, particularly beans and soya based products, carbohydrates made of molecules that are too large to be absorbed in our small intestine during digestion so they pass into the large intestine still intact. This leads to an increase in certain bacteria in the lower intestine needed to break down these carbohydrates which produces large amounts of hydrogen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide gas. So the next time a vegetarian tells you to stop eating meat to lower your carbon footprint, tell them to stop farting and set an example.
Fart Fact 11 by AKACroatalin October 30, 2019
Fart Fact 10
This is a fact, not wishful thinking. If you’re a woman, a fart can really take you by surprise. One woman took to Social Media to ponder something strange that happened to her when she farted. She asked the question "Do you ever fart and the fart goes past your vagina and your labia moves?" She had hundreds of responses from women who had experienced this phenomenon which, apparently, is called a vart.
Fart Fact 10 by AKACroatalin October 30, 2019
Fart Fact 9
Farts travel quite quickly at around 3.05 meters per second, which is roughly 7 miles per hour, which is faster than your average jogger who moves at about 6 miles per hour.
Fart Fact 9 by AKACroatalin October 29, 2019
Fart Fact 8
Farts are explosive, not just the way they come out of your arse, but two of the gases in farts are inflammable. Methane and hydrogen, are inflammable, which is what makes it possible to cause a small explosion if you hold a lighter up to your rear end when you fart. It’s not a good idea though, we’ve all heard the story about the kid who farted at the candles on his birthday cake and ended up in hospital with a badly burned backside so don’t do it.
“Have you heard Malcolm’s had to go to hospital after setting light to his fart.”
“Fart fact 8, though I’m surprised with the amount of gas he produces he didn’t end up in orbit.”
“Fart fact 8, though I’m surprised with the amount of gas he produces he didn’t end up in orbit.”
Fart Fact 8 by AKACroatalin October 28, 2019
Fart Fact 1
Over 99% of the gases in a fart don’t smell! This is because a fart is mostly oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. Nitrogen is not produced in the gut, but comes from the air we breathe.
Fart Fact 1 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019
Fart Fact 2
Only 1% of your fart actually smells! Even that little SBD you sneaked out that had everyone in the room wondering if the sewage works had broken down, even that was 99% of that was odourless gases like carbon dioxide, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane. The 1% that smells is hydrogen sulphide and when you consider just how bad farts can smell it should come as no surprise that hydrogen sulphide is poisonous. It was even considered as a poison gas during WW1 but was too easily detected (the smell, of course).
“Malcolm’s just caused a major pollution event.”
“Let another one go has he?”
“He must be producing more than 1%, it’s contradicting Fart Fact 2!”
“Let another one go has he?”
“He must be producing more than 1%, it’s contradicting Fart Fact 2!”
Fart Fact 2 by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019