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A WHITE GUY's definitions

Mountain don’t

Store brand Mountain Dew knock offs or Mello Yello (which is made by coke as their competition.)
Some are great, some are just ok, some are quite terrible and taste like straight up sugar water with no fizz or citrus flavor (shasta moon mist, aka mountain doo-doo).
For $5.99 I can get a 12 pack of Mountain Dew, but for $2.75 I can get a 12 pack of mountain don’t. If it turns out to be mountain doo-doo, I won’t be too disappointed because it was only $2.75 for a 12er, I just won’t buy it again.
by A WHITE GUY January 27, 2019
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Bae

Sheep make that sound. Not only the farm animal sheep say that, but the single digit IQ social media junkies with group mentalities and no minds of their own do too when referring to their significant other, ie. the other kind of sheep. I'm aware it means (before anyone else), but it just seems like you're too lazy to say "babe", thus making you sound like a tool (or toolette).

It's also the danish word for shit.
If my GF ever calles me "Bae", I'll be dumping her faster than when I snort ex-lax after eating a deadly combo of Taco Bell and Arby's.
by A WHITE GUY August 30, 2017
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Monster

Nuclear horse piss that is sold as a disgusting energy drink.

Describing anything that is large.

The creature that lives in your closet and under your bed.

A sadistic pedophile who molests and rapes children he abducts.
I tried a monster energy drink the other day, it was the grossest shit i have ever tasted. I poured the rest of it into my neighbor's dogs water dish, the dog caught fire.

Whoa, that fish is a monster.

"Mommy, I need you to look in my closet and check under my bed for monsters."
"For fuck sake Tommy, you're 35 years old. why do you still believe in monsters?"
"Remember when I was kidnapped and raped by that monster in his van. And I still didn't get any free candy."
by A WHITE GUY August 28, 2014
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Redneck

Not to be confused with white trash and hillbillies.
enjoy hunting, fishing, camping and other recreation.
are hard working people who do the jobs nobody wants to do.
do not have sex with blood relatives. -hillbillies.
do not all live in trailers or shacks.
do not decorate our front lawns with garbage and broken toilets -white trash.
are racist against douche bags who look down at us because we wear hunting clothes as casual clothing, and proudly drive our gas guzzling american cars.
are not to be fucked with.
enjoy drinking beer, not that pussy ass light beer shit that is just piss water. Only fags and women drink it!
hate going to mechanics plumbers electricians and contractors, since we know how to do that stuff ourselves for half the price.
hate new technology such as smart phones and ipads. Only fags buy it to attract other fags and act smug about it.
throw mc donalds shakes at the front windshields of retards who text and drive.
don't all drive our old pick up trucks and pre 1990's era american cars because we can't afford new ones. Most of us still drive them because we actually know how to fix them and don't want to spend over $40,000 on a new piece of shit that's mostly made of plastic and beer can material which was probably shipped here from japan, china, and mexico to be assembled here so they can rust away and fall apart in 3 years. So shut the fuck up with your 5 star crash test rating and "sleek styling.
dick: "Why don't you go home and have sex with your grandmasistermothercousinaunt you stupid redneck."
redneck: "Fuck you, those are hillbillies you jackass."
dick: ":8"

faggot: "Why are you still driving that old tank? Are you poor or something?"
redneck: "No."
faggot: "You should buy a toyota prius. It is eco friendly and made in america."
redneck: "That car is a total gay magnet, and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing american about that piece of shit. It's shaped like it could be some sort of anal sex toy and if you bring that thing on my property again, I will squash it like a bug with my 78 chevy. You will catch me with a dick in my mouth before you catch me driving that. REDNECK 4 LIFE!
by A WHITE GUY September 10, 2013
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Fagazine

Any man caught reading any of the magazines listed below will be considered a homo.

Better homes and garden
Cosmopolitan
People magazine
Entertainment Weekly
or any gay porn mag.
I'm living in my car because the other day I came came home from work early and caught my roommate on my couch putting a buttplug in his ass while he was pounding off to a fagazine, and there was dookie and jizz everywhere. I'm never going back there again.
by A WHITE GUY April 26, 2014
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Chubbscout

Chubbscouts are the fat kids at a fatcamp.
My parents are sending me to fat camp this summer. It looks like I'm going to be a chubbscout.
by A WHITE GUY March 16, 2014
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Redneck pizza

Roadkill that has been run over so many times that it’s just a scattered pile of blood and guts that’s almost completely flat, resembling a pizza.
To eat the redneck pizza, just slap it on the engine block of yer truck until it congeals, cut it into 8 slices with yer buck knife, take a big ol’ hit off yer meth pipe, then enjoy with yer friends Bubba and Jim-Bob. Best served with pabst blue ribbon or some other piss beer.
by A WHITE GUY December 25, 2018
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