A WHITE GUY's definitions

Fagazine

Any man caught reading any of the magazines listed below will be considered a homo.

Better homes and garden
Cosmopolitan
People magazine
Entertainment Weekly
or any gay porn mag.

I'm living in my car because the other day I came came home from work early and caught my roommate on my couch putting a buttplug in his ass while he was pounding off to a fagazine, and there was dookie and jizz everywhere. I'm never going back there again.

by A WHITE GUY April 26, 2014

NASCAR

An event where drunken rednecks and white trash gather around, get drunk, and watch other stupid white trash (whose names are usually penis related) drive around at dangerously high speeds in car shaped billboards advertizing for diet mountain dew and bud lite doing nothing but turning left and crashing into each other, and there's a trailer park in the center of the track. After the race is over, the rednecks go home and beat their wife/cousin/sister because dick peterson didn't win.

guy1: Wanna go see a nascar race?
guy2: fuck off!

redneck1:Hey billy bob, nascar's on the tv box, u wanna watch it.
redneck2:Whoooooooo!!! Hell yeah bubba, we'll grill up some roadkill, smoke some meth, and drink a case of PBR.

by A WHITE GUY June 4, 2014

Mudbutt

When you take a shit and there’s literally more poop on the toilet paper than there is in the toilet, and the poop is extremely sticky and thick (almost tar like)and impossible to clean off your asshole without scrubbing intensely in the shower. Usually happens when you eat too much junk food.

P1: “WTF took you so long in the bathroom? Were you writing a novel or something?”
P2: “Sorry, had a bad case of mudbutt. It was like the labrea tar pits down there.”
P1:”Maybe if you didn’t eat all those god damn Doritos every day and ate a fucking salad once in a while, you wouldn’t have that problem.”

by A WHITE GUY January 29, 2019

Flappy Bird

A floppy penis.
It is also a shitty game that sucks ass and people commited suicide over it. The guy that came up with the game "flappy bird" was probably obsessed with big floppy penises.

Last night, I slapped your mom across the face with my flappy bird and she loved it.

This game flappy bird is pissing me off. i'm going to kill my self.

by A WHITE GUY March 29, 2014

Tourist Trap

A place that stupid idiots and the media portray to be a great place to visit or live, but in reality is a crime infested rundown shithole and the people there are rude and the food sucks.
Also known as Paris France.

When I went to paris, it was the most horrible place I have ever been to. The whole city was a shithole, my wallet with my id, passport, and all of my money was stolen by some little kids, all the people there were snooty little dickheads that reeked of piss and B-O, the women there are ugly as hell and don't shave their armpits, and they eat fucking snails over there. FUCKING SNAILS!!!
Don't ever go to france, it's a god damn tourist trap. No matter how glamorous the media portrays it to be, it fucking sucks donkey dick.

by A WHITE GUY July 13, 2015

Wooden Birds

An abundance of clothes pins on an empty clothes line, resembling birds on a power line.

Hand me one of those wooden birds so I can close up that bag of chips.

by A WHITE GUY July 26, 2017

Monster

Nuclear horse piss that is sold as a disgusting energy drink.

Describing anything that is large.

The creature that lives in your closet and under your bed.

A sadistic pedophile who molests and rapes children he abducts.

I tried a monster energy drink the other day, it was the grossest shit i have ever tasted. I poured the rest of it into my neighbor's dogs water dish, the dog caught fire.

Whoa, that fish is a monster.

"Mommy, I need you to look in my closet and check under my bed for monsters."
"For fuck sake Tommy, you're 35 years old. why do you still believe in monsters?"
"Remember when I was kidnapped and raped by that monster in his van. And I still didn't get any free candy."

by A WHITE GUY August 28, 2014