..WiL's definitions

Ass Gerbil

Any "common" homosexual practise that only exists in the minds of straight people for their own amusement.

Such as storing used condoms in the fridge to drink later, 'being the wife', biting the pillow, using vaseline, drinkin cum out of an arse with a golden straw, or, indeed, the apocryphyl inserting a live gerbil up the anus using an empty toilet tube.

Straight man to gay man: 'So what the fuck is this felching thing anyway?'
Gay man: 'I dunno mate, you tell me, as far as Im aware its just another ass-gerbil.'

by ..WiL May 16, 2005

Beer bruises

Mystery bruises caused by a night out with the beer monster, which you have NO MEMORY AT ALL of obtaining.

Particularly impressive when found on the face, possibly from calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone.

Ouch, what the hell was I doing last night!? And where am I? And why is there diced carrot in my hair!?

by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Americanism

Any American-ized word or phrase, such as changing the spelling of words to sound as they mis-pronounce them, using 4 syllables or words where 1 would have sufficed, or inventing a new word or phrase because it sounds nicer (most commonly heard whenever they are 'fighting for peace' again).

Color, Armor, Boro, Aluminum, Leftenant (??), putting Z's instead of S's in words, or using clunky acronyms because they make a meaningful word (Arrogant American Alliance with Rightwing Goverments against Hope!, or Aaargh!)

Weapons Of Mass Destruction (Nukes), The Road Map (Plan), Freedom Fighters (terrorists we like), Terrorists (anyone we don't), Terrorist Suspect (anyone), Liberating <insert name of latest militarily inferior country that has weapons we supplied and something we want> in the Name of Peace and Democracy (slaughter and pillage <name>), Anti-American (anyone who disagrees), Anti-American Activist (anyone that tries to stop us), Our Friends and Allies in Europe (anyone with nukes), 9/11 (oops, apparently having nukes doesn't make you immune to retaliation), Pulling Together in the War for Democracy! (so c'mon England, lets make some NEW enemies!).

by ..WiL May 21, 2005

Lipstick arse

When U find yourself trapped in the John scared to pull up your expensive Calvins simply due to your Rusty Bullet Hole apparently feeding a single unpassable turd slowly out onto the paper as if someone had hidden a lipstick dispenser up your arse and was slowly turning the base!

Look, its not my fault, OK? I got a fucking Lipstick Arse situation here! Go on without me and Ill catch you up!

by ..WiL May 19, 2005

Bar Steward

A way of gettin away with calling someone a bastard in polite company, like in front of your Mum.

He's a complete Bar Steward!

by ..WiL May 25, 2005

Bender

1. A long prelongued bout of alchoholic self punishment.

2. A pretty innoffensive Brit slang word for a poof.

3. A character on the TV show Futurama.

1. Fuck you all, Im off on a bender.

2. Are you really a bender?

3. KILL ALL HUMANS!

by ..WiL July 15, 2008

Arse orgasm

The male internal orgasm, generated by stimulation of the prostate, the male g spot, via rythymic insertion of something into the anus, sometimes with the more conventional orgasm thrown in for good measure.

Obviously well known to most of the gay male community but available to all!

'YEAH!!' cried Brad as again he felt the tell-tale tremors of an arse orgasm forming in his gut!

by ..WiL May 19, 2005