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..WiL's definitions

Beer Monster

1. A guy who drinks lots and falls over every available free moment.

2. The evil monster that visits you when you have been on a bender and steals all your money, sends bizarre text messages and offensive e-mails to all your friends, makes all your clothes smell funny, hides your underwear, messes up your house, and then shits in your mouth before leaving.
Also wipes all your memory of the previous night.

By either definition, he's a cunt and you spend all your time apologising for him.
1. I have never seen Rob sober, the guy's a complete Beer Monster.

2. I need to go into town, the Beer Monster stole all my money, <vomits>, maybe later...
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
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Pantomime

1. To act out in a very over the top way.

2. A truly mad old English tradition still performed today of rampant cross dressing and Carry On style humour performed on stage primarily for kids.

Extremely popular at Christmas and always traditionally contains the phrase 'It's behind you!' no matter what the production. Also the place where z-list celebs earn their keep.

Completely hatstand! All Americans should catch one when in Blighty, as it will pop their heads!
1. God this is getting to be a right pantomime.

2. I wonder which long forgotten reality TV show 'celebrity' will be the pantomime dame in our production of Cinderella?
by ..WiL May 27, 2005
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Car Crash TV

Any TV program that, like a recent car crash in the street, you know you shouldn't watch, you know you'll regret looking, but you just can't help yourself!
"The auditions section on that 'search for a star' reality TV show are proper Car Crash TV, aren't they?" Eurovision, Big Brother, Punk'd, any and all painfully uncomfortable reality shows.
by ..wil May 23, 2006
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Ass Gerbil

Any "common" homosexual practise that only exists in the minds of straight people for their own amusement.

Such as storing used condoms in the fridge to drink later, 'being the wife', biting the pillow, using vaseline, drinkin cum out of an arse with a golden straw, or, indeed, the apocryphyl inserting a live gerbil up the anus using an empty toilet tube.
Straight man to gay man: 'So what the fuck is this felching thing anyway?'
Gay man: 'I dunno mate, you tell me, as far as Im aware its just another ass-gerbil.'
by ..WiL May 16, 2005
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Beer bruises

Mystery bruises caused by a night out with the beer monster, which you have NO MEMORY AT ALL of obtaining.

Particularly impressive when found on the face, possibly from calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone.
Ouch, what the hell was I doing last night!? And where am I? And why is there diced carrot in my hair!?
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
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Bar Steward

A way of gettin away with calling someone a bastard in polite company, like in front of your Mum.
by ..WiL May 25, 2005
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Bender

1. A long prelongued bout of alchoholic self punishment.

2. A pretty innoffensive Brit slang word for a poof.

3. A character on the TV show Futurama.
1. Fuck you all, Im off on a bender.

2. Are you really a bender?

3. KILL ALL HUMANS!
by ..WiL July 15, 2008
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