$lapaho's definitions

Vagmitized

When a formerly high-functioning and typically single heterosexual male develops the inability to fulfill ordinary life sustaining obligations due to inability to concentrate on anything other than the vagina of his latest recurring sexual encounter. He is literally under the spell of this particular vagina similar to the effects of scopolomine slipped into unsuspecting mens drinks in South American countries such as Colombia.

Note: Outcomes for this disorder are typically dismal however randomized studies have shown that married men do have a statistically lower relapse rates.

Friend 1 - Dude, you see Pete lately? Looks like he's on meth or something...

Friend 2 - He's been vagmitized by a stripper named Chastity. We are planning an intervention.

by $lapaho December 30, 2018

Gabrielle Ludwig

(person) - Gabrielle Ludwig is a transgender 50-year-old basketball player at Mission College in California. With a height of 6'8" this former soldier sought a second career in basketball after having served in the military. Her inclusion on the team was controversial and eventually allowed via a court ruling.

On the court she is a monster swatting basketballs like Godzilla, and her presence is intimidating to opponents. If Shaquille O'Neal and Arnold Schwarzenegger had a male baby it would be her. She has been known to deride opposing players after a nasty dunk by screaming "O'Doyle rules!"

Hey Honey, going to Sandra's basketball game tonite. Think they will win?

Not a fucking chance! That girl Gabrielle Ludwig is on the other team. She is 6'8" and literally the Ivan Drago of women's basketball. She will turn that place into NBA Jam. 🤣🤣

by $lapaho February 20, 2021

the guy that runs that outfit over there

(person) - This position was formerly known as the Secretary of Defense. He is is the head of the Department of Defense for the United States of America, however as President Biden cannot remember anyone's name this is what he is now called.

Note - search this phrase on YouTube for masterful oration.

I'd like to thank.....uh....the guy that runs that outfit over there..."

- President Joe Biden, 38/2021

by $lapaho March 9, 2021

preferred pronoun

(noun) - Preferred pronouns are the pronouns of choice that the addresser chooses to label someone as. The receiver's opinion/choice has absolutely no bearing on the user's preference.

What's your preferred pronoun?

Glad you asked! it's it.

you want to be known as it?

No. No way. It is what I call anyone that is confused about their identity.

by $lapaho May 9, 2021

plug tug

(verb) - A plug tug is when a customer gives a hand job to they/their heroin dealer for dope when they are out of money.

Me: C'mon Jaquan! I'm sick, my stimulus check is held up, and I need a bag of dope! C'mon man!

Jaquan: We can work out a plug tug if you like....

by $lapaho March 4, 2021

gloves work

(quote) - Phrase OJ Simpson uttered while appointed to President Joe Biden's cabinet as COVID-19 safety constant under Dr. Fauci. Mr. Simpson was considered for the position to increase public awareness of strategies to stop spread of COVID-19.

Did you see the public service announcement about gloves w masks? it's called "gloves work" ?

Oh thats very informative! Glad that Biden has chosen to keep us safe!!!😊 Who is the face of this project?

OJ Simpson of course!! He is a true believer. 🧤

by $lapaho February 7, 2021

canonization by lead

(verb) - Act by which an armed felon is relieved of both his life and rap sheet by the bullets of an officer's gun. Subsequently, he is canonized as a Saint by the community.

Rules for nomenclature are as follows: "Saint (Name of felon), patron Saint of (accused crime)."

You hear about Michael Brown?

You mean Saint Michael, patron Saint of Strong-arming blunts? He got a canonization by lead.

by $lapaho February 14, 2021