Preparing a dish and then spreading "boogers" and "Cum" on it before serving it to a customer that demands special treatment due to the fact that they think they are a food critic because they use YELP.

A jack off buddy (from 'cum' /'come', meaning 'semen', and 'companion'); a friend that you get together with for sessions of solo or mutual masturbation
Variant of: cumpanion (from 'companion' & 'cum'); jack off buddy & wank bud & JO buddy
Similar to: fuck buddy