A wank performed while at work and during work hours, usually in the toilets and for the purpose of:

A: Giving yourself a little boost during a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

B: Rewarding yourself for completing a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

C: Seeing how much money you can earn from your cunt of a boss just for having a wank.

D: Stopping yourself from feeling the need to molest that hot new girl in reception.

Internet persona(s) who happens to follow you and you happen to follow them back and maintain communication with and have a mutual liking for eachother whether it be friendship wise, etc. (Mutuals if more than one mutual)

2 conceivable scenarios

1) You’ve actually managed to ‘finish the internet’, so that desperate for something to do you think ‘fuck it, I’ll go for a wank’

2) You’ve got a hangover which would maim an elephant. You’ve just taken a dump who’s splash back made New Orleans look like a puddle. You really can’t face the 15 second walk back to your desk…. So you think ‘fuck it, I’ll have a wank’. Oh, and The release of endorphins cure the headache.