Evan: Dude what happened? You were only in the bedroom with that girl for like 30 seconds. u a 30 second man?
Kenny: No, I started to suck her boobs and realized she has woolly nips, I gotta go floss
Evan: Gross, heres a beer to rinse that shit out

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"