Wooden cock- A device used to engage in sex with men who have no genitals.
Girl - wanna have sex?
Man- Let me get my wooden cock
by Sexyassgrizzlybear April 28, 2016
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When a persons computer loads so slowly in a game that his computer is said to be made from a substance uncapable of conducting electricity such as wood.

the substance can also be substituted with another substance more cheap then wood eg. african mud bricks

originates from computer games with servers where players must wait for everyone to connect before the game can start. the player who loads last is said to have a wooden computer.
*everyones loaded except dave*

nerd 1 : wow dave as such a wooden computer

nerd 2 : yea totally made from 100 year old wood from africa
by skuxx :D May 17, 2011
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A wooden peg is someone who's greatest claim to fame is that someone planted a seed for him to exist. Wooden peg's were never to become great oaks; they are cut down to size, hold tight for a while only to suffer more humiliation and drop to the ground, often into a freshly laid dog turd.

A wooden peg is the sort of person who will end up with the wooden spoon award.

A wooden peg could be having a run of luck, such as holding onto some sweet model's lingerie but everyone knows it won't last because the person is a dead set loser about to fall again.
That football team had potential until that wooden peg started coaching them. They now play like they've been infected with his woody fungus and will no doubt take out the wooden spoon award.

That Jacob is a shit stained wooden peg. His only success in life was when he was the winner of his father's sperm race, since then he has failed in everything he's done and no doubt will turn into a junkie hanging out in the trailer park with the likes of Dirty Robby
by Honey Crumpets May 28, 2019
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noun - The act of being beat over the head by a billy club
...then the cop said to me, "do that again and you will get the wooden shampoo!"
by lickity-split June 07, 2005
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