Describing an individual who has latterly overindulged in wanking (usually upwards of five acts of masturbation in any one day) and is experiencing its concomitant and extended euphoria.

Often the wank-happy individual finds himself in such a situation when he, upon some windfall, comes into possession of a large quantity of high quality (usually European) pornography.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.