A “man”, who prides himself on his long, greasy hair, and on telling women how they should look, think, and act. He (gravely) mistakens himself as God’s gift to women.

The phenomenon of having to come out as bisexual to the same person/people repeatedly because they assumed or hoped that your sexuality was a "phase." Refers less to the holiday and more to the 1993 Bill Murray comedy film in which the main character experiences the same day over and over.

A long haired gent you imagine you'd run into at Walmart. Can tell he smells of grizzly wintergreen, juicy fruit and that hairspray your mom used to use.

His life goal more than likely resembles a house full of Sister Wives; obedient slaves willing to please him all the way down to his hamburger helper addiction.

I.e. Walmarts version of Gods gift to women