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When one speaks for solely the purpose of hearing their own voice.
Sue didn't want to talk with me, she was just practicing verbal masturbation.
by BillG July 04, 2005
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n. (v. Verbally masturbating)
Describes a person using (or trying but fails) extremely flamboyant, overelaborate, pendantic, overembellished, pompus, language seasoned with a lot of jargon from a certain discipline, sometimes to the extent that it has to be translated or deciphered to be intelligible for the common man; done with the unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate when communicating completely mundane things. May be done with the intent of making others feel inferior…and/or himself superior, part of role-playing, humour, being an idiot, (trying to) showing off how smart you are, and as mentioned an unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate. The true verbal masturbators are the pretentious ones who try but utterly fail because they use words they do not understand and use words across a jargon (inconsistency). Verbal masturbation may or may not appear redundant; however the redundancy is from the choice of words used and not necessarily by its meaning. Additionally, some may feel others are verbally masturbating but do so wrongfully because the situation requires being meticulously accurate

Non exhaustive examples of jargon used are:

Scientific: (star trek, professor Frink from The Simpson’s),
Forensic: (CSI, Sherlock Holmes),
Arcane: (old language, medieval, lord of the rings, star wars),
Prose/poetic: (rhymes, poetic symbolic uses etc. of language usually belonging to the literature world)
dictionary: (sounding like one…)
Leet (1337): sounding like a nerd/geek
girl: romeo and juliet was so romantic and such a deep movie
guy: romeo & juliet with leo dicaprio is one big verbal masturbation from start to end. the rhyming is done with so much intensity and pompousness its embarrasing to watch.
Data: "If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques."
Borg Queen: "How long since you've used them?"
Data: "Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two seconds..."
(data is verbally masturbating, as he always has)
John cleese: He's not pinin'! he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! he's expired and gone to meet his maker! he's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! his metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! he's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (an excellent example of verbal masturbation used in humour)
by broccolee May 03, 2006
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The stretching of something being said to make it much longer than it could easily be. It is usually done because the speaker feels what they said is not enough, wants to hear them self talk or wants to make what they say more confusing.

The way they stretch it is by adding similes and metaphors that basically say the same exact thing as what they originally said.
Verbal masturbation

The inquiring man is not liked for he is the hungry lion who wants more food. It is the people who are unwilling to feed his mind like there are only so many gazelle. His hunger makes the other lions tremble and begin to hate his lifelong quest for knowledge. He will never have enough and the others do not wish to put up with him, so he is always alone. Like a man who steals the money of his peers and has become rich, and hated by others. Though the others could have easily become rich because the money was up for grabs. The rich man benefits from his quest for knowledge and is hated for doing better.


An intelligent and curious person is not liked.
by Joe725 August 04, 2008
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Verbal Masturbation is commonly found amoung the arrogant, highly self absorbed people.
when you verbally masturbate, you essentially puke out the most disgustingly boring things about yourself, and you only ever talk about how great you are, or how great your life is, blahblahblah.
a common feeling amoung the ill-faited audience of a verbal masturbater is the hard to ignore urges to slice off the offenders head, put it in a blender, and then feed it to dogs. and if they are REALLY not worth it, feed the head to homeless people, as they will take anything.
"That prick over there kept verbally masturbating, and had me snoring for an hour."
"Man, that chick is so hot, i'm gonna do the verbal masturbation all over her to show her how HOT i am"
by coocoocachoo December 01, 2005
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