Person A: I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Person B: You're just very vag-nom deprived and are starting to hear things.

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"