Twos on a bastard is when a men has a one night stand with a women, but if she has his kiddy he ain't sticking around, therefore making the kid a bastard. Also: you can never goes threes on a bastard caus its just unfair on the kiddy.
Michael went twos on a bastard last night with that slag on argos corner
by iamthelazerviking December 21, 2006
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Two unmarried people having sex which in the outcome could produce a child.

Try asking someone:
by christophe August 04, 2004
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A person that doesn't know their dad one minute their your friend the next minute they stab you in the back basically a back stabber that doesn't know their dad
First that person was on my team, we were best of friends then that person traded on me by going to a different team and completely acting like we were never friends. That person is a Two Faced Bastard
by Jeremy Phuture August 18, 2017
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Two males having sex with one female (when neither are married to the female) which in turn could produce a child.
You go out and a sexy lady catches your eye! Ask your mate "Wanna go twos up on a bastard?" If he says yes try your luck and try and get a dirty threesome
by Mu11y April 19, 2006
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