The Twitter Shagger is a cryptid that is said to dwell somewhere in the depths of the social media website twitter.com.

Very little is currently known about the Twitter Shagger other than that
1. whatever it is, it is probably horny, and
2. everybody on Twitter wants to know what it is.

There is not yet any consensus among Cryptozoologists as to what sort of creature the Twitter Shagger is, since descriptions taken from alleged sightings of the beast vary wildly, but some have speculated that the Twitter Shagger either physically resembles, or has a particular fondness for, parrots.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.