One of the my teenagers out there who hs been brainwashed by the book, Twilight.

Symptoms may include: Begging for an imaginary vampire to marry them, biting random people, wasting a shit load of cash on twilight merch that has invaded hot topic, losing a social life due to reading the book over and over again and living in a fantasy, obsessing over any guy named "Edward" or "Jacob", tantrums about how things in the book turned out or when people make fun of the book, wishing death upon fictional character Bella swam, refering to their spouse as "edward" or "bella" or asking their spouse if they happen to be a vampire in disguise.

the thing that you don’t have when you’re phones percentage is over 20