To insert a brass mouthpiece (a tuba mouthpiece is ideal for accuracy, but a trombone or high wind will work) into a woman's vagina and blow into it as if you were playing.

Can also be phrased as "turn this bitch into a tuba," if she is not already in a relationship.

A goth who has been part of the subculture since it originally came about, or a goth over the age of 40.