A situation or statement that defies all logic, makes no sense and causes extreme distress to all parties involved.
Claudette: I'm going to sit down and watch Hillary clinch the 2016 presidential election.
Tony: Yep. It will be nice to see Trump silenced once and for all.
Wolf Blitzer: Trump just won FL.
Claudette: WTF America!?!?!?!???
Wolf Blitzer: PA, MI and WI are calling a Trump victory.
Tony: I'm not 100% in love with FL, PA, MI and WI right now.
Wolf Blitzer: Hillary Clinton just called to concede the election. Donald J. Trump will be the new leader of the free world.
Claudette: WTF! This is TOTAL BULLSHIT!
by Smedley Schmedley November 27, 2016
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100% Nigger. A person of the black persuasion who exhibits a large number of the stereotypical nigger traits; such as lazy, unemployed, dumb, broke, likes fried chicken, etc, etc.
That Tyrone is a Total Nigger.
by Chipspew November 18, 2014
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A jerkoff who has no redeeming value left at all.
An asshole who has surpassed all the limits of assholery.
A douchebag who has sunk to lowest level of douchebaggery.
A lowlife who richly deserves a severe ass beating for soiling the planet with his existance.
That total douchebag has screwed me over good this time!
by jsd96321 February 18, 2012
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The act of placing one of your ass cheeks firmly into the ass crack of another person and vice versa. Both parties must press as hard as they can, and complete the total eclipse. WARNING: THIS IS A TRUST EXERCISE! DO NOT FART!
My wife and I have never been that good at cuddling until we started Total Eclipsing.

That girl's ass is so thick I think she'd crush me if we tried Total Eclipsing!

It was so hot to watch those girls stop, drop, flip it, and start Total Eclipsing it.

She was so heartbroken after her boyfriend broke up with her. How was she to know she needed to fart during their Total Eclipsing?

ACT NOW AND GET THE "HOT ASSES TOTAL ECLIPSING Vol 5." NOW!!
by DMonkage May 14, 2014
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An expression used to show great awesomeness. Its origin is unknown, even though many say it was derived from the old English word "gangster."
Example 1
Person #1: Man, we just scored in this totally g volleyball game in which everybody sucks and nobody knows how to hit the ball
Person #2: I know right. That was totally g!

Example 2
That car is so totally g!!!
by Indefatigable August 31, 2011
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Used to describe someone who looks good from far away, but up close is a total mess. Reference "Clueless"

The use of "Monet" is in reference to impressionist paintings
When I first saw her, I thought she was hot, but then she got up close and was a total Monet.
by giglingurl February 07, 2008
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