(n.) - an individual who willingly changes his or her behavior for personal gain or profit. In this context, a tool is similar to a poser, with one important distinction. Because a tool does not consider his actions beyond rudimentary cost/benefit analysis, he or she will often be co-opted by corporations or powerful interest groups to support the lame or corrupt positions held by these organizations. A tool therefore, is quite literally an instrument of the man.
Mitt Romney is a tool.
by Kenny Genius February 9, 2011
by T-Rav January 22, 2005
An individual who behaves in their own self interest rather than adhering to a set of beliefs or morals. Someone who will act as though to seek approval on the outside, but is actually quite vain and selfish. Men of this variety tend to cheat on their girlfriends. Women tend to use men to obtain free drinks.
by redwikiwine September 10, 2009
Typically a male, a tool is someone who needs a huge wake up call. They think they are God's gift to the world and will do the dumbest things to attempt to impress people, most commonly girls. Girls will laugh and this will lead this guys to believe that they are laughing because they think they are cute...but really, they are laughing because they think they are idiots. Tools also have the tendency to play with a girl's heart and not care because they think they are "hot" and can get away with anything. They may be attractive on the outside, but on the inside they are anything but.
by thesarcastictruth July 6, 2011
Me: Hi your four shirts all on top of each other with popped collars look awesome.
Tool: Yea I know. All the cool kids are doing it. Also bitches can't resist the popped collar. I'm getting laid tonight. *high five*
Me: I was being sarcastic. No one is gonna want to have sex with you. You look very silly. I was totally tooling you.
Tool: Yea I know. All the cool kids are doing it. Also bitches can't resist the popped collar. I'm getting laid tonight. *high five*
Me: I was being sarcastic. No one is gonna want to have sex with you. You look very silly. I was totally tooling you.
by shmaters gee April 12, 2009
Almost synonymous to douche bag; the type of person that likes to show off their physique in public; wears athletic clothing in the dead of Winter (Basketball shorts with long black socks); laughs at their own non-hilarious jokes; under the false assumption that they are perfect; whines like a spoiled 5-year-old when something doesn't go their way
"Ben is such a tool in the morning when he thinks it's cool to choke people and throw them into the wall."
"Ben laughs like a walrus when he thinks his own jokes are funny."
"Ryan always sounds like he's on Oprah when complaining in Chemistry."
"Ben laughs like a walrus when he thinks his own jokes are funny."
"Ryan always sounds like he's on Oprah when complaining in Chemistry."
by mattyjoe28 March 31, 2010
Contrary to what many people (usually tools) think, being a tool has nothing to do with being easily manipulated. Those people are simply "suckers". In fact, tools often take life too seriously, and therefore try too hard to manipulate others and to win everything, but always playing by the rules of society. Intellectual pursuits are not of any interest to a tool, and people who are interested in them are "stuck-up" or "faggy". A tool just likes to have a few beers, watch and talk about sports constantly, and refer to women as "sluts" and themselves "players". Tools are usually borderline retarded, but hide it well because they have the uncanny ability to conform almost perfectly to social norms.
If a movie, or song becomes popular in society, the tool will quickly adapt said movie or song as one of their favorites (see Lil' Jon, Souljah Boy, Boondock Saints). Their "social commentary" is often crudely taken from the last episode of South Park.
A tool can usually be spotted wearing a backwards baseball cap and athletic attire, playing beer pong at any large, obnoxious party where loud mainstream rap music is played.
If a movie, or song becomes popular in society, the tool will quickly adapt said movie or song as one of their favorites (see Lil' Jon, Souljah Boy, Boondock Saints). Their "social commentary" is often crudely taken from the last episode of South Park.
A tool can usually be spotted wearing a backwards baseball cap and athletic attire, playing beer pong at any large, obnoxious party where loud mainstream rap music is played.
by Todd Clemens February 16, 2008