whilst doing a girl doggy, prepare a freshly cut lemon, one half in either hand and as you ejaculate inside her, lean over and thrust the lemons into her eyes, making the love making session very emotional.
dude i took that girl home after that date, i showed her the tear jerker.
by aaron and kristy November 10, 2008
To shed tears onto one's penis while masturbating, typically following rejection, failure, or general sorrow.
A: Well, the Lions lost again—better go home and cry on my dick.

B: Yeah, last week I had a nice tear jerker set to Jewel's "Foolish Games".
by hologrammar May 13, 2011
To masturbate furiously while crying about your inability to get laid or the fact that you are just a pussy in general.
Fred struck out with all the skanks at the bar, so he went home to give himself a tear jerker.
by DWright March 25, 2007
When you have sex with a girl with a glass eye and when you are about to blow your load you take her glass eye out ejaculate in her eye socket and put the eye back in so the glass eye forces out a tear of jizz
Man: I'm so good baby I'll make cry

Glass eyed woman: Okay but you have to clean my eye after the Tear Jerker. I hate cleaning jizz off my glass eye.
by Shogun of Skanks October 28, 2010
When the man ejaculates up the girl's nose, the semen accumulates so much that it oozes out of her tear ducts. If it doesn't ooze out right away, the man punches her in the face to induce crying.
Cory: "Oh yeah, here it comes, where do you want it?"
Topanga: "I feel like being kinky...why don't you give me a Tear-jerker?"
Cory: "Oh ya...that's SO hot."
*Cory ejaculates and makes high-pitched orgasm screeches*
*Topanga makes snorting sounds*
Cory: "Hey, it's not coming out of your eyes!"
*Cory punches Topanga in the face*
*Topanga cries cum*
Cory: "Yeah...that's better. By the way, bitch, I got AIDS."
*Topanga cries more cum*
Tear jerking is to masterbate while crying and using the tears as lube.
"Listen bitch, You are a cheating, lying, cum gargling swamp whore, so go home, cry your eyes out and use your tears to grease up your gristle knot while you masterbate yourself to sleep, It'll be a real tear jerker."
by Robby Martin November 30, 2006
A man who, while under the influence of alcohol or other mind-altering substances, masturbates and uses his tears as lubricant. A tear jerker may also be defined as a date or encounter with a woman which results in the afore mentioned definition.

This idea is referenced, but not directly named, in the popular film, "Waiting...".
A dialogue from the movie, "Waiting...".
Dean: Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in? Nothing! You take them out, you pay for everything - you never make a move!

Monty: And then you go home... alone... to masturbate... while you cry... using your own tears as lubricant.

Calvin: Ok that was once... and I was drunk... and it was Valentine's Day.
Calvin is a total tear jerker.
by Joey X September 6, 2006